


Doe-eyed

by Anonymous



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula and feelings, Azula just wants to keep her baby brother safe and happy, Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Protective Azula, Sibling Love, baby zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-10-12 13:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20565005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In which everything is the same except Azula is the firstborn and she's eleven years old when she first meets her baby brother.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/gifts).

> A small gift for Muffinlance for writing all those amazing fics.
> 
> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta.)_

\--

Azula is eleven and she's standing next to her mother's bed. Mother is staring at her as if mother is trying to imprint the shapes of Azula’s face into her memory. There's no blood, but the scent is still thick in the trapped air, sickening and overwhelming, and all Azula can think of is _'mother is dying, isn't she?'_

Somehow, mother is not even a little bit concerned.

"Azula, look. Look at your baby brother," mother says gently. Azula acquiesces, peering down at the wrapped bundle in mother’s arms. She blinks, studying the baby hiding in her mother’s embrace.

Azula has seen babies before, of course. They're loud, overbearing, and annoying. Grotesque little creatures with untainted innocence. They're revolting to look at.

But her newborn brother? He's anything but revolting.

What her newborn brother is, is _tiny_.

Those cheeks and tiny fingers are ridiculously chubby, gripping mother's robe in a tender motion. Her brother yawns, pink lips as soft as a flower before that tiny head unceremoniously falls back onto her mother's chest.

Everything is so tiny. Her baby brother won't survive the world. Mother should have let him die. It's merciful that way. Painless and swift.

But the thought of her brother dying fills Azula's chest with a frightening amount of dread.

"He's… well, he's small," Azula offers half-heartedly. Mother lets out a small chuckle. 

Then she hisses slowly. Her face is getting paler. Despite herself, despite the words that will never be said between her and mother, Azula hesitantly grips her mother's hand. Mother looks at her in surprise before she smiles. She brings Azula's hand to her lips and kisses her knuckle.

"My dearest girl, all grown up. I'm so so so proud of you," mother whispers.

For a moment, Azula almost believes her.

"Here." mother offers Azula her baby brother. Azula pauses.

"It's okay. He's very light. And he won't bite," mother teases weakly.

Azula doesn't pout. The heir to the throne does not pout.

Mother chuckles again. "I'm only joking, Azula. There's no need to pout."

"I'm not-" Azula starts, then sighs, and relents. Control. Control. This woman is her mother. Not an enemy. "Give that brat to me."

Mother beams and gently lays her son in Azula's arms. Azula panics - just for a moment - before she steadies her balance and carefully holds the newborn in her arms.

Mother settles him close to Azula’s chest. The baby is nearly weightless.

"Careful, Azula."

"I know what I'm doing," Azula replies flatly. Her gaze, though, never strays from the baby. He whimpers in her arms, kicks his legs, and starts wiggling in discomfort. And then the baby yawns again and looks up at her - only this time, those eyes aren't shut tight and so, at last, Azula gets to see a pair of familiar eyes just like hers.

The baby makes a sound like a gurgle - no longer a displeased whimper - and ever so slowly, tiny hands extend and poke at Azula's chin, almost scratching curiously at the soft skin.  
Azula watches intently.

Her baby brother makes a sound that's similar to a peal of laughter. It feels like a small hello. 

_Hello to you, too,_ she wants to say but Azula doesn’t wish to scare the little thing.

Instead, Azula uses one of her arms to support the baby while she uses the other to (hesitantly) cup her baby brother's cheek. Her thumb brushing against his nose and eye, feeling the smoothness under her skin, and the ever-changing warmth. He leans into her.

Azula's lips tremble.

She doesn't know the word for it: when you want to hold something so badly that your chest aches just thinking about it. Like fireflies are living inside you and it's ticklish but welcoming and you'll do anything to keep the gentleness there.

She doesn't know the word for it. But she knows she'll burn the entire world just to keep her brother safe.

_Mother, you finally give me something wonderful._

Azula swallows and holds him even closer than before. She does not cry. She’s a princess. She does not cry.

"What's his name?" Azula questions. Her voice trembles. Mother doesn’t acknowledge it.

Mother hums, looking paler and paler. "You name him."

"But-"

"Azula." Mother touches her arm. "You name him. He is yours to keep and to love from now on."

Azula looks down at her baby brother. He's shoving his fingers in his mouth, coating it with saliva. The name tumbles so easily from her lips: "Zuko. His name is Zuko."

Zuko makes a tiny squeak. Azula bends down to brush her nose against Zuko's. The baby whines, irritated. As retaliation for disturbing him, Zuko puts his drool-covered fingers in Azula's eye. The princess quickly backs away, letting out a surprised gasp.

Mother chuckles. Slowly, she falls asleep. Her eyes flutter closed, and she does not make a sound, not even a whisper. 

For the very first time in her life, Azula truly feels afraid, like how a child is meant to feel when she knows she’s about to lose something she’ll never get back. 

Azula doesn’t call out her mother’s name. She sits on the bed, at their mother’s side with Zuko in her arms, and she’s holding him like he’s the most fragile and precious thing in the world. 

He is. 

(She’ll never admit it out loud).

One day when he’s finally old enough, Zuko will ask about mother. Azula is sure of it. She doesn’t think she knows mother well enough to share the sort of tales that will last a lifetime. It’s okay, though. 

She will tell Zuko that mother loves him above all else. Azula silently promises that she will protect him always, and in her way, that she promises she will love Zuko forever. Azula will keep all her promises. She swears it.

Right now, she’s not the heir to the throne. Not the daughter of Ozai. In this very fleeting moment, she’s just Azula, daughter of Ursa, and an older sister of Zuko.

Azula takes a deep breath. She glances down at Zuko. The baby coos at her. Azula whispers her brother’s name reverently, “Zuko.”

The baby gurgles happily and Azula allows herself to smile ever so tenderly.

Mother doesn't wake up to greet them anymore.

\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta)_

\--  
Azula can't believe she's the only competent one in the palace.

Azula clenches her teeth. Her steps are loud and heavy, and she can almost feel the sharpness of her nails digging into her skin, but she pays no attention to it.

She can hear the _tap tap tap_ of the frightened servants' footwear resonating in the darkened hallway as they follow after her. Their hasty and stuttered pleas are ignored by her. 

She has no time for fools. The servants she's appointed only have one job: to watch over her little brother and keep him safe. Keep Zuko safe.

Yet, they've allowed Zuko to slip away from them and now, only Agni knows where her little brother has wandered off to. He hasn't been seen by everyone for nearly an hour. _An hour._

Zuko is so young. Only eighteen months old. He's only learned how to walk recently and yet his tiny feet are still wobbly. What if he's crying somewhere? All by himself?

_What if Zuzu is calling out for me and I'm not there for him?_

Azula steadies her breath. She doesn't stop moving. _Don't ever let your heart dictate your next action._ Results require precision without hesitation. She cannot falter.

"Princess, please. Surely, the young prince hasn't gone too far. He's a tiny thing. Perhaps he's hiding somewhere."

"Princess, we've tried our best--"

"Do not--" Azula stops and slowly turns to give the servants an empty look, "--make excuses. I gave you a task. A simple one, and yet you have failed me. You should count yourselves lucky." Azula doesn't glare but her eyes are cold and cruel and her voice is poison. She needs to maintain control.

"You should count yourselves lucky I'm not the Fire Lord. Or each one of you would have begged for the merciful touch of death when I--"

"Zu'a!" a tiny voice shrieks cheerily.

Azula instantly swirls on her heels, searching for the source of the familiar voice.

There. She spots Zuko waddling eagerly towards her. His face is marred with dirty dark spots while his tiny feet and hands are covered in soil as if the boy's spent his time digging through dirt. The relief (and joy) Azula feels is so immense. She might not burn the servants' feet after all.

"It's the little prince!" one of the servants unnecessarily offers. Azula doesn't bother to look at the servants when she waves them away.

"Leave. I'll tend to my brother alone."

"But, princess--"

"_Leave_."

They scurry away, tumbling and whispering before they're completely gone.

By that time, Zuko is already a few steps away from her, and with no one around, Azula gets down on her knees and quickly pulls her little brother into a tight embrace. There's only them. No eyes or voices to judge her. No father. With Zuko, she never has to hide.

"Zu'a!" Zuko chirps in her arms, nuzzling his dirty face against the smoothness of her silks as the toddler grips his sister's hair. Azula tightens her hold until she begins to lose her equilibrium and gracefully falls down on her butt with a hiss.

Zuko squirms in Azula’s lap before he looks up at her with those bright eyes of his and then he giggles. _Little brat. I wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for you._

"Where have you been?" she questions sharply. The concern in her voice is so thick even Azula is startled by it. Azula clears her throat and tries again, this time with more grace worthy of a princess.

"Where have you been?" she repeats.

Zuko doesn't answer. Instead, he puts his dirty hands on her face. Azula sputters, horrified by the mess on her cheeks.

"Zuzu!"

The toddler laughs. He makes another motion to stamp more dirt onto his sister's face but Azula quickly catches his thin wrists.

"Zu'a! No!" the toddler begins to kick, wriggling hopelessly. Obviously spoiled and so used to Azula succumbing to his every wish. Even the ridiculous ones. Unfortunately.

The princess sighs. "You're getting a bath. Come now. Let's find someone to clean you up."

"Nu'uh."

"Yes."

"No!"

Azula rolls her eyes. Zuko probably doesn't understand her words well enough but at least he understands the meaning of 'bath', which, unfortunately, something that Zuko associates with a big 'not good'.

"Okay. Fine. Here's the deal. If you can pronounce my name properly, I'll bathe you myself. How about it?"

Zuko rolls off of her lap, standing on wobbly legs, and attempts to run away. Azula easily grabs him around the waist.

Zuko shrieks, legs dangling as he makes a grabby motion towards the floor once Azula stands up and carries him away. "No!"

"Say it properly, you damn brat. _A-zu-la._ Try it."

"No." Zuko pouts.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"No," Zuko repeats childishly.

"Well, I suppose I'll let Li and Lo bathe you again."

Finally, Zuko quickly finds her eyes, actually looking terrified at the mention of the twins. Azula cackles, striding towards her room.

The twins have never wronged her little brother. It's simply because they're old people longing to have a young grandchild. And Zuko fits the criteria. Hence, why Li and Lo often stuff the boy with food when no one is looking and continuously abuse Zuko's cheeks by mercilessly pinching his chubby skin.

Zuko seems to dislike their exaggerated affection.

"Or would you rather father bathe you?" Azula teases.

Zuko's previous terror dissipates. Father. He understands the word. Zuko's shoulders sag as he rests his head on Azula's shoulder, letting his sister carry him quietly. His gaze is suddenly sullen.

Whereas Azula is often rewarded with father's praises, Zuko has only ever felt their father's absence.

Azula stares at her brother. Perhaps she's gone too far, but she won't apologize.  
"Won't you at least say my name correctly, baby brother?"

Zuko pokes her nose.

Azula huffs.

Later on, after changing into a lighter garb, Azula is the one that bathes Zuko. She sends away the other servants when they offer to clean her brother. She won't allow them to use Zuko to earn back her good graces.

Azula kneels next to the small tub as Zuko slaps the water happily, grabbing his favorite turtleduck toy, sinks it into the water, and watches it float back up.

"You should be grateful. I'm above washing anyone, even though you’re my little brother."  
Zuko burps.

"Don't try to eat the soap-- let it go."

She snatches it from her brother. Zuko pouts at her again.

"Damn brat."

"Eat?"

"No, you fool. If you want to die so badly then I could have just sent you to uncle fatso and let him smother you to death with his love."

Zuko only blabbers some more, not fully comprehending anything she's just said.

The moment is covered with tinted silence as Azula carefully pours water over Zuko's head, cleaning the mess that's sticking to his hair and his face before she takes Zuko's tiny fingers and thoroughly cleans them as well.

_Honestly, where have you been? So messy._

"Zuzu!" Zuko chirps.

Azula stares at her brother, raising a brow when Zuko shows his wet turtleduck toy to her. 

"Zuzu!" Zuko repeats, waving the toy in front of her.

Azula blinks. And laughs.

"Turtleduck? You think you're a turtleduck, Zuzu?"

Zuko looks at his toy, and then back at Azula - this time with a silly smile as if the toddler has finally understood a secret only he knows. Zuko waves his turtleduck toy at her again.

"Zuzu duck!"

Despite everything, Azula's gaze softens."Mom loved those annoying turtleducks," she mutters, combing Zuko's wet hair with her fingers.

Zuko tilts his head, confused when their mother is mentioned. Eventually, his interest wanes and he resumes playing with his toy. Zuko is not curious about their mother just yet and at the moment, Azula prefers it that way.

She doesn’t know what to tell him.

Or maybe Azula wants to spare Zuko from longing for something the child has never had in the first place.

It’s a curious thing to care for someone so fiercely. She’s still not used to that.

_You're getting soft,_ father whispers. Azula is quite aware of it. Attachment is a dangerous thing. Though Azula can't bring herself to care.

Zuko is worth the whole world to her.

\--


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta.)_

\--

Zuko is nearing three years old and he still can't firebend.

_I could already summon the flame when I was his age._ Azula tucks the concern away. The princess has made a promise to stop comparing Zuko to herself.

Zuko is young and he doesn't need to be extraordinary to be special. Azula is simply content enough that Zuko is at least happy and growing at his own pace. He's not chasing satisfactory results, nor does he have expectations to be fulfilled.

However, father sees it differently.

_He has no spark_ is something father often says like a sacred incantation, looking shamelessly repulsed. Sometimes even in Zuko’s presence.

Whenever that happens, Azula can only ever throw her gaze to her feet, letting father's voice slither around them - around her baby brother - like a misty poison. Zuko might not fully understand their father's ire, but he hears the resentment in father's voice.

Sometimes Azula feels her hands clawing at her thighs and it takes all her willpower not to speak up against her father. Azula is loyal. She is loyal to her father. She will not question him ever. She will not.

But sometimes--

_(But sometimes Zuzu's lips tremble after father's harsh condemnation and he's so young, so tiny, and he says in that small voice of his “I’m sorry” and Azula doesn't like the coiling fury in her chest, so ready to wrest Zuko away from father's cold glare because her baby brother should have never been exposed to such ugliness but--)_

But.

Azula is a loyal daughter. She will not question her father.

"You've been spending too much time with that boy lately," her father reproaches. Azula doesn't meet her father's eyes, sitting perfectly on the chair across him, posture poised. The silence extends for a few moments before Azula hears the softest tap of his father's quill on the thin sheet.

"Zuko requires my guidance," she answers.

"You're spoiling him. Let his caretakers watch over him. You're a princess. My heir. You must attend to your duty, not to play a mother to that child."

Azula nods. "Of course, father."

"He lives still, does he not?"

Azula finally looks up. Her face is impassive, though the confusion is clear in her voice. "Father?"

Father places the quill on his desk, leaning back against his chair, seemingly calm. He looks at her.

"He lives still. Even after he killed his mother, after he left me without a wife, and you, motherless. He's still breathing regardless of my desire to throw the child out a window and down the ravine when he was first brought to this world. A sparkless child. Duty made me hold my hands. Duty as his sire, even though the child does not deserve it. Duty as a Fire Lord, should I perish or you be incapable of ruling. Your brother lives because he's a spare. Duty, Azula. That's what matters. Not whatever game it is you’re playing with that boy."

Father easily waves his hand at her in the indifferent manner of one talking about the weather. "You can't be a decent ruler in the future if you continue to keep yourself from being fully committed to your responsibilities. Do not waste your time with that child anymore."

_My brother has a name. I picked his name for him!_ Though, Azula says none of this. Instead, Azula nods again. "I understand, father."

Father observes her for a fleeting moment before his eyes become void of any touch of emotions. Azula doesn't falter. With one final wave, he permits her to leave. Azula bows and takes it as a blessing.

Her walk takes her to her mother’s favorite garden. Azula feels the blood in her mouth from where she's accidentally bitten her tongue.

Azula feels her pulse quicken but she does not lose control of her many masks.

_He lives still, does he not?_

Azula has known hopelessness before but for the very first time, she feels blackened fear clutching at her heart. Something lingers under the many layers of father's words. Something like a veiled threat.

_What would mother do?_ But Azula is not her mother. She's Ozai's daughter. And Ozai's daughter complies with her father's request.

"Zula!"

Azula turns around and her eyes find Zuko's tiny form, running happily towards her with a smile so bright Azula might as well be blinded by it.

Everything is quickly forgotten as Azula kneels, opens her arms and cradles her brother when Zuko jumps into her arms. Azula stands, hoisting Zuko, ignoring the boy's protest at being carried without his permission.

"No, put me down! I want to feed the turtleducks!" Zuko kicks, whining helplessly.

Azula disregards the sound of water stirring and turtleducks quacking behind her. She pulls away and watches her brother's face silently, memorizing the sight of Zuko's chubby red cheeks and tiny button nose.

Zuko seems to notice his sister's stillness. The child tilts his head, puzzled by Azula's lack of response. Azula doesn't know what she's expecting - but Zuko putting his hands on Azula's cheeks and leaning closer to peck her nose is not one of them.

Azula blinks. "What was that for?"

"Happy kiss!" Zuko laughs, settling down further into Azula's arms and nestling his head on her neck. Azula takes a deep breath before resting her cheek on Zuko's head.

"Shut up, you fucking brat," she whispers without any heat.

Zuko scrunches his nose. "Li and Lo said that's a bad word!"

"Old people think technology is a bad word, Zuzu. Don't listen to those ugly old fools. Say fuck whenever you want."

"Oh, okay," Zuko accepts easily.

"Ah, there you are, nephew. Please do not run off like that. This old body is not as spry as it used to be."

Both siblings look up to see their uncle approaching. Azula sighs, irritated, whilst Zuko screeches loudly and begs to be put down.

Azula complies with the boy's demand and she watches as Zuko barrels into uncle's legs - causing the old man to stumble - and hugs one of his knees tightly. Zuko looks up at his uncle with bright eyes.

"Uncle, I found the turtleducks all by myself!" Zuko's speech stutters here and there, still trying to glue his sentence together without any hiccups. Regardless, he's done well and Azula is proud of him.

He's going to be three soon and suddenly Azula laments that her baby brother won't stay a child forever.

Uncle laughs, gently putting his large hand on Zuko's small head. "That you did, nephew. Well done."

Zuko gives uncle a shy smile before he totters towards the pond and begins to feed the turtleducks. Azula watches her brother's steps sharply, concerned that Zuko might stumble into the water.

"Something troubles you, niece?"

Azula quickly looks at the old man standing next to her. As if the sniveling old man is worthy to be standing at her side. Azula keeps her expression idle. She never has to bother faking fondness around uncle.

"It's none of your concern. Why don't you go serve your tea?"

Uncle chuckles. "Leave and abandon this lovely view?"

Somehow, Azula is sure uncle is not talking about the pond, nor the large tree almost veiling the garden, nor the golden sun smearing the world with fiery strokes. Azula looks up and all she sees is Zuko laughing as he feeds the turtleducks tenderly; his joy is so vast and pure. _That_ is the only thing in this world Azula wants to protect so desperately: Zuko's joy. 

"What troubles you, niece?" Uncle asks again.

Azula wants to tell him to shut up, to burn uncle where he stands. She does the opposite. Her mouth utters the words even before she thinks of them: "Zuko deserves a good mother."

As soon as her mouth has betrayed her, Azula bites down on her tongue. Traitorous honeyed words.

Uncle merely hums. "That is true."

Azula snaps back to look at uncle. This wretched old man who thinks he knows better, who loves Zuko with all of his heart. He'd have honored the family had he died at Ba Sing Se.  
Azula shifts her gaze elsewhere and says nothing. She composes herself and reconstructs the image of a perfect princess.

Uncle speaks without her permission.

"A mother can love relentlessly. A mother can be powerful, gentle, and boundless. It's true. It's all true. Every child is deserving a mother's love," uncle softly offers, "But you've forgotten one thing, niece. A sibling can love just as fiercely."

Azula briefly feels uncle's eyes on her.

"You talk too much, uncle."

Uncle laughs again at her response. Azula ignores him when he tries to make small talk. Eventually, uncle relents at Azula's defiance to stay silent and settles down with humming an old song. He irritates her to no end.

Her silence stretches on and on until she can hear nothing but Zuko's precious laughter. But the peace does not erase father's words from her mind.

_He lives still, does he not?_

No. She thinks too much of it. _Father would never harm Zuko._ He gains nothing from it.

Azula is sure of it.

\--


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta.)

\--

The Avatar has returned. 

Azula knows she has all the resources and necessary skills required to hunt down the Avatar. Her people are loyal to her and will never question her authority. There are also Ty Lee and Mai, in which she can recruit them to assist her in her quest. They can _never_ say no to her. 

Azula will craft her plans perfectly and there will be no room for errors. She will thrive and she will succeed. 

Azula can make her father proud. 

it won't be an easy task but Azula has never failed in anything _ever_.

Azula knows this.

Father knows this.

So when uncle has specifically offered to find the avatar, Azula is surprised at the intense relief that suddenly grips at her person. 

Father's eyes narrow at uncle's request before his gaze sweeps over to Azula, taking her in before he questions her: "And what do you think of it, Azula? Should we send your uncle on this errand?"

The council suddenly goes quiet and Azula can feel uncle watching her intently but she has no desire to play around and lace her words with honey today. The meeting has been going on and on and she's getting jaded listening to her father's council bicker like the blundering fools they are. Father should have sought better counselors. 

"If uncle wishes to create a name for himself then I'll say, let him go. Uncle has laid siege to Ba Sing Se before, albeit, without a satisfactory outcome due to a _minor_ setback," Azula gleefully points out before she resumes, "However, he's experienced and has established enough connections outside of our nation. It'll be no trouble for him to capture the Avatar. Surely there's more to uncle than just pouring tea and growing fat, yes?"

Uncle says nothing and when Azula looks at him, the old fool is no longer staring at her. Father, though, lets out a small chuckle, seemingly content at uncle's brief discomfort. 

"Very well, daughter. Now, brother, I'll speak to you later privately. For now--"

The meeting continues. Azula tries not to groan. She takes a peek at the small window installed above the wall, noticing the sky has turned orange. 

It's shameful to think so but she misses Zuko's presence. 

\--

Father stops her before Azula leaves the war room. She turns around and squints, unsure.

Father voices his reason hastily but calmly. "Why do you wish to stay?"

Azula tilts her head, puzzled. "I do not follow, father."

Father observes her. His gaze gives nothing away. "You could have volunteered yourself to hunt the Avatar, why didn't you?"

"It's because of uncle--"

"I’m not a fool, Azula."

"Father, I'd never--"

"Is it because of your little brother?" Father interrupts her.

Azula opens her mouth only to realize that _yes, yes it's because of Zuko. Because I don't want to leave him behind_ and suddenly she feels the unease fester until it fills her throat and blocks all her protests.

Azula quickly regains her equilibrium. 

"You and I both know uncle is untrustworthy. Father, you are no fool and you know uncle has never had our family's best interest at heart. He's working for someone and that someone is against us. You don't have solid proof to accuse him of treason and you need more than simple evidence to accuse the Dragon of the West. _When_ uncle fails to capture the Avatar and finally shows his true fangs, you can announce his treachery. Then, I'll search for the Avatar and bring uncle's head to you."

Azula bows. "I am ever your loyal daughter, father."

\--

Father takes her words but he also sends Zhao to accompany uncle. Zhao is an ambitious man but he's not an idiot. He will work with uncle until he deems uncle is no longer useful. 

No matter. Whatever happens, happens. 

For now, Azula merely wishes to enjoy the evening while the servants wash her hair. She listens to Zuko's laughter gently echoing in the parlor as he plays with his toys.

This is the only kind of peace that matters. 

\--

Azula accompanies Zuko to the dock a few days later.

Zuko adamantly wants to give uncle a proper farewell before he leaves. Azula doesn't like it but Zuko is stubborn and she can't even tell where he gets that so eventually Azula relents. She doesn't trust the guards to keep Zuko safe around their uncle. The old man looks like he wants to take Zuko with him.

"Promise you'll come back soon after you capture the elephant, uncle?" Zuko looks up at the elder man, sobbing. Uncle's eyes are wet but the tears do not fall. It troubles Azula how uncle looks at her baby brother like Zuko is the only good thing left in this world. 

Uncle chuckles. "An Avatar, nephew. Not an elephant."

"Oh, okay," Zuko says, tucking his turtleduck plushie under his armpit. 

_He's three-year-old and he's still carrying his toy everywhere_, Azula laments. 

Uncle slowly falls to his knees and cradles Zuko's head in his hands. "I promise nephew, I'll come back for you." Uncle leans closer and kisses Zuko's temple.

Zuko wipes his tears, sniffling, trying to appear brave. Azula stands a distance away from them but still close enough to catch every word.

"I love you, uncle," Zuko softly utters. 

Uncle smiles the only smile he’s ever reserved for Zuko. "I love you, too, Zuko."

The child embraces the old man and uncle fiercely returns it. It's so odd to see how gentle and careful uncle is around Zuko. 

Uncle gives Azula a curt nod and departs without saying a word to her. Just as well. Azula is not in the mood to insult him anyway. 

\--

Zuko still can't bend but there's nothing wrong with teaching him a few simple katas. 

Zuko's steps are messy and uncoordinated and Azula has to restrain herself from screaming at the boy every time Zuko falls on his butt.

Even one easy kata seems impossible to him.

It's starting to get on her nerves so Azula puts a stop to the training and tells her baby brother that they'll continue it later on. But Zuzu looks up at her and eagerly asks Azula, "Did I do good? Did I?" 

Azula rolls her eyes. "Not even close."

Zuko's eyes fall and his shoulders sag and _Agni_ the sight is so pitiful. Azula tastes the bitterness on her tongue for causing the gloominess. 

"But that's the whole point," Azula quickly continues, trying to appear unbothered. "You're only getting started and it'll take time but with proper training, you'll get there eventually, Zuzu."

It's so easy to make her brother happy. Zuko brightens and wraps his short arms around Azula's knees, making a sound that almost resembles a contented kitten. 

Azula puts her hand on Zuko's hair and purposely messes them. Her thoughts drift to the sight of uncle hugging Zuko so reverently to his chest.

_Do I look like that around Zuzu as well?_

\--

"Your uncle is a traitor and our siege against the water tribe savages has failed. We’re unsure what’s happened to Admiral Zhao but for now, let’s assume he’s killed in action.”

“And what if Zhao is still alive?”

“Then it’d be on his best interest to end his life,” father declares plainly. “We will not waste our resources to rescue a disgraced admiral.”

Azula simply hums to herself. They’ve suffered a huge defeat but at least uncle is branded a traitor. She doesn’t doubt that soon father will publicize uncle’s treacherous act. 

So it's her turn to leave then.

Azula looks at her father before she bows low. "Give me some time to prepare, father."

Father accepts her request.

\--

She can't leave Zuko behind and she can't bring him with her either. It's too dangerous. 

(She'll miss Zuko terribly once she departs)

So Azula requests for more time. 

Father allows it again. 

\--

"When will uncle come back?" Zuko asks. He lets out a tiny yawn before Zuko cuddles closer to Azula, hiding in the safety of his sister's protective arms. Azula sighs and wraps her around the small bundle. 

Zuko giggles when Azula playfully pokes his ribs.

"Not for a long while, Zuzu."

"It's okay," Zuko chirps happily even in his sleepy state. "I'll wait. I don't mind."

Azula ponders for a moment, hating the fact that she might have to capture uncle and bring him in alive instead of killing him.

For Zuko's sake at least.

\--

Two weeks have passed. And then three weeks and finally it's nearly a month and Azula hasn't left yet.

Azula formulates excuses constantly, asking for more time and father always agrees to it.

Azula doesn't know why she's still here, waiting. There are no longer preparations to be made.

_(Of course, she knows why and the reason comes in the shape of a little boy with bright eyes and toothy smile and the high-pitched tone he always uses whenever he says 'Zula!')_

Azula will leave eventually (to capture the Avatar). She will. She just needs more time.

She will not disappoint father. 

\--

"I just need a little bit more time, father."

"Very well."

\--

Father summons her to the training room in the middle of the night. 

It has never happened before. Azula can’t tell if she's worried or not but it's no use grieving over assumptions. She pushes open the twin mahogany doors and quickly closes them behind her. She walks towards the middle of the room until she finally spots father.

Azula instantly stops.

Because she knows who’s her father carrying in his arms. 

Zuko is sleeping comfortably. His favorite blanket wrapped around his small form as Zuko snuggles into their father's chest, seeking warmth. 

Azula doesn't know what kind of expression she's wearing but father looks at her in absolute revulsion. 

"You chose this _wretched thing_ over your obligations to me, Azula?"

"Father--" her voice cracks a bit and it's so unlike her. Her breath is unstable and that's so unlike her. Her hands tremble and that's not her _so so very unlike her_ because Azula controls her masks like she controls everything in her life and she never breaks. _Never._

But this is Zuko and _nothing in this world worth the cost of Zuko's life and happiness._

"Father," Azula hastily falls to her knees and bows so low she can feel her forehead pressing to the cold floor. "I am forever your loyal subject. I'd never dare to disobey you. I swear." Azula keeps her voice strong. She can't falter under father's ferocity. 

"Then why are you still here?"

Azula looks up. There's something hidden there but Azula is unable to trace the meaning behind father's words. "You summoned me here, father." _keep your voice steady._

"No. Why are you still _here_?"

_Here_ as in the palace. In the fire nation. And not out there hunting the Avatar and winning the war for the Fire Lord. 

"_I will_, father. I'll leave now if you desire it." Azula claims desperately. _Don't hurt Zuko please._

Father's smile is both bitter and cruel and Azula sees too much of herself in this man. She slowly gets up but she doesn't move from her spot. Azula doesn't’ dare. Her eyes wander to her sleeping baby brother and then to her father; her nails digging into her fists. 

"Very well, daughter."

Azula breathes a little.

"But disobedience cannot go unpunished. You _will learn_."

Azula’s eyes quickly stray to her brother. Zuko stirs in their father's arms, yawning and rubbing his eyes with those ever precious little hands of his.

Zuko looks up when he feels a larger, warmer hand on his left face, tracing his cheek gently. The tiny child lets out a surprised but happy squeak when he notices who is holding him; little fingers happily reaching out, "Daddy!"

Azula's control crumples and she leaps forward to-- 

\--father's hand burns red and Zuko is screaming.

Azula's voice is raspy - incoherent - as she heaves heavily. Azula cannot fully comprehend that _this is truly happening_ and she desperately wants to move but she’s rooted to the ground and Azula watches and watches - eyes wide in absolute repudiation - until Zuko is motionless in father's arms. His tiny hands fall to his chest.

_No no no no--!_

"Control yourself, Azula," father says, unshaken. "He lives."

Azula stares at her father - numbed, confused, ragged breaths - for a moment before the fury comes so slowly, coiling and hissing around her skin like her ever searing blue flame. 

Something inside Azula breaks and withers as another creature takes its reign, colossal and primal until it's filled with such ugliness and cold rage that she might as well be a monster wearing human skin.

Azula lets fury burn her.

_ **I will never forgive this** _

\--


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta.)_

\--

"Where was my uncle's last seen?"

"Somewhere near the outer realm of Si Wong desert. We believe he was trailing the Avatar and his companions but he was lost to our spies after that."

"Very well. Make sure everything is thoroughly prepared. We will depart on the day after tomorrow, with the Fire Lord's permission."

"At once, princess."

The messenger bows and briskly takes his leave. Azula doesn't spare him a nod as she ably ties her hair into a high top-knot, tying it with her favorite ribbon and making sure not even a single strand is out of place. 

She tightens the ribbon until it's constricting her hair and pulling at her scalp as if she wants to tear her skin apart--... but Azula stops and breathes slowly, reveling in the stinging pain and numbness mockingly kissing her body. 

It doesn't soothe the fury whispering in her ears and Azula can't have that. Not yet. Azula breathes again; the candles in her room mimic the rhythm of her breathing as she gently rests her fists on her lap.

There's the sound of a door creaking and the identical voices of Li and Lo fill her bedroom. 

"Princess Azula." They bow, hands hidden in their loose sleeves. Their eyes are on her, waiting, calculating, and yet they've agreed to help her regardless of their promised loyalty to her father. 

It's a risky move, a gamble, to trust her mentors, and perhaps their perfidy nature might not be fully buried by their old age but then again, Azula won't be here to suffer the consequences. 

She's made her bet. She's taking the risks. 

"Is he here?"

"Of course. Shall we bring him in?"

"Yes." Azula stands, regards the twins quietly, and questions in a low tone, "Would you keep your silence should my father ever wished for the truth?"

"We were never here, princess." The twins bow again before they silently leave. Soon, in their previous place stands one of Ozai’s supposedly most trusted generals. The man looks around the chamber, curious, before his eyes land on Azula.

The old man bows low. 

Azula studies him only for a moment. "I'll be blunt, General Liu, I heard you're quite a brilliant smuggler."

The man narrows his eyes at her. "I'm unsure of what you speak of, princess.”

"Yes, you certainly do. I have no time to waste. I know you were once stationed not far from rural districts of Li Yen years ago; to ascertain strategic features even though that side of the world wasn't _that_ heavy with conflicts; a vast area with a lot of desperate fugitives and insatiate nobles and with it - a possibility of immense profits. You were permitted an early withdrawal and yet you stayed for several months to aide those people by smuggling their _interests. Without_ the Fire Lord’s approval."

General Liu casts his gaze downward and Azula can almost _see_ the gears turning in his head, trying to formulate a way to distract her, trying to form an escape route. 

Azula huffs. "You made deals, did you not? With the nobles and _other interested parties_, too, not just with our people. You also used the opportunity to extend your influence, discreetly. A terrific smuggler, truly. I’m impressed. What would the Fire Lord think if he ever found out?"

_(of course, the Fire Lord is aware. The only reason the General is still alive is that Ozai deems his usefulness outweighs the slew of his treachery. He doesn't need to know that)_

"Princess--"

"--and now I require your service."

The general blinks. "Excuse me?"

Azula walks slowly towards the man. He doesn't dare to meet her eyes. She stands close enough that she can see the beads of sweat trickling down from the crown of his forehead. The man still refuses to look at her.

"You will smuggle something out for me. _Very carefully_. It's of utmost importance that nothing and I mean _nothing_, must happen to the baggage. Not even a single scratch. Your life, your family, and your future depend on it."

She hands him a scroll. The general hesitates, grasping the item once he's sure it's not another one of her tricks. 

"Everything I need is written in there. I want them to be in order. Do not fail me. By keeping your secret, you owe me a life debt."

\--

Ozai has refused to let Azula see her brother at first but once again, Azula has swallowed her pride and begged, casting away a picture of a perfect daughter in front of the Fire Lord. 

She is given permission eventually and Azula says nothing as she hastily strides towards her baby brother's room. She cannot run. She's shown enough desperation and Azula doesn't want to bare open more of herself in front of the Fire Lord. 

She enters the room without knocking.

The first thing Azula spots is the physician kneeling next to her brother's bed, his hands are gentle as he brushes the bandages around the left side of Zuko's face.

Azula closes the door softly, earning the physician's attention. He's an old man, with soft eyes and too-many white hair. When he finds Azula looking desperately at him, the old man smiles gently. 

"He's still sleeping," the man calmly speaks. "You may see him if you wish."

Azula refuses to cry. She won't cry. She won't. But her voice is small and it's dripping with fear and guilt as she speaks quietly, "Yes. _Please_." 

She doesn't know how to be a child but at the moment, she feels as if the weight in her chest is forcing her to drop her masks.

"_Please_," Azula mutters again. 

The physician nods. He stands on shaky legs, and quietly darts towards the corner of the room; where his equipment remains on the desk. He's giving Azula privacy. 

Azula gladly takes it. She goes promptly towards Zuko and falls at his side in the corner of the bed.

Her baby brother looks so small--... smaller _(struggling in Ozai's arms, screaming and thrashing like the sky is breaking and falling all over him--)_ and Azula so very carefully and tenderly holds Zuko's head in her hands.

Azula stares at her unconscious brother, letting her gaze fall to his chest - _he’s alive. He's alive, Agni, he's alive_ \- before she looks at Zuko's face. Faded angry marks protruding from under the bandages and red blotches inking the lower part of Zuko's cheek. The ointment is mostly covering the rest of the damage. 

Azula is so very afraid to see what's hidden under the gauze. She knows it's something that’ll stay permanently.

It's her fault. It's all her fault. Zuko's suffered for the mistakes she's made.

_It should have been me._

She rests her forehead against Zuko's and closes her eyes. "_Zuko, love._"

Azula recollects the memory of their mother and her tender voice. _Azula, love, I'm here, my darling. Mummy's here, okay?_

"_I'm here. I'm here, Zuzu. I'm here."_

_What would mom do? She would-- _

Zuko whimpers in his sleep and Azula holds him tighter. Tenderly. _This_ is the only thing she cannot live without. She's sworn it. Azula will burn the entire world to keep Zuko safe. Nothing will ever hurt her baby brother ever again. 

She won't allow it.

Azula stays with Zuko. Just the two of them under the silken sheet, from noon to dusk. The child remains asleep. She'll be leaving tomorrow and she doesn't know when she will get to hold Zuko like this again. If nothing falls out of order, then soon, hopefully. 

Azula is about to leave the room when Zuko stirs. He's awake long enough to mutter a scared, "Zu'a." The boy whimpers. Then slowly his good eye closes once more. 

"I'm here, Zuko. Always," Azula promises before she kisses Zuko's forehead. 

\--

Ozai watches as soldiers gather into Azula's warship, people that she will bring with her to hunt the Avatar down. Uncle is the secondary priority. She will return home with the Avatar, with or without uncle, that is the Fire Lord's order.

Azula is no fool. She knows Ozai isn't here to bid her farewell. 

He's only making sure nothing is out of place. No trace of deception.

Azula observes everything with her hands behind her back, occasionally reprimanding the people carrying the shipload simply because she can't stand slow, clumsy fools.

It's not because she's anxious. No. She's Azula. The crowned princess. _This is her game now._ And if her hands shake a little. It's because of the cold wind, she tells herself. 

At her side, Ozai observes her before he breaks the silence between them. "Your brother will be under my care," he declares darkly. 

Azula hears it as _should you fail, you know the consequences_. Azula bites her tongue to keep herself from snarling at him. She knows the consequences more than anyone else.

"Of course, _father_."

Not long after, they depart. Azula stands on the deck, her nails gripping the rail as she watches the dock grows smaller and smaller until Ozai disappears from the view. 

It feels like absolute freedom. 

Azula grins.

\--

"We'll stop at the nearest port."

"Princess?" The captain of the ship blinks at her, confused. "The nearest port is-"

"The nearest port, captain. At the dreary territory of Hansu. We dock there." Azula gives the man a dull stare, nails nimbly fixing her tresses. "Commandeer the ship without questions and your body will not be used to test the strength of these monstrous tides, captain.”

"O--...yes, princess. At once."

"Very good, captain." 

\--

When the warship docks, Azula instructs her people to wait for her while she gathers more information regarding the Avatar's whereabouts. It garners her looks from her people, considering they already have substantial intelligence on the Avatar's possible next location. 

It doesn't matter. They're loyal to her only because her father orders them to. 

Azula packs some requirements and leaves without looking back. 

She changes her garb, wearing a common attire to fit in and heads towards the small hidden village. There, she enters an almost desolate bar and fishes out a copper coin. On it, there's an emblem of a golden crescent moon with two-headed dragons coiling around it. Azula pulls it out and holds it between her fingers, making sure the coin is easily spotted. 

Someone taps her shoulder. 

Azula turns around to find an old woman standing there. She's reek of fish and in her arms, there's a small bundle wrapped in a gray towel. Seconds later, the bundle moves and a mop of messy head pokes out from under the cloth.

The child tilts his head up to take a good look at Azula. The boy trembles and cries. 

Azula quickly takes her brother from the woman and embraces him so close to her chest. Zuko wipes his tears on her tunic, whimpering in pain. "Hurts…"

"I know, Zuzu," Azula shushes him gently. She kisses his good cheek, his tiny nose, and his temple before she gently brushes the gauze around Zuko's left face. It's been recently changed and Azula can smell the faint scent of healing salve. 

Zuko sniffles, his chubby hands are shaking.

"It'll be okay," Azula comforts the child. Zuko only hides his face in the warmth crook her neck and says nothing else.

The old woman clears her throat. Azula gives her an annoyed look. 

The elderly lady flashes her yellow teeth at the siblings. "General Liu hopes you'll keep the end of your bargain."

Azula almost rolls her eyes. By now, Azula doesn't doubt the Fire Lord is already aware of what's truly transpired. Undoubtedly, General Liu will suffer for his deception. It won't be swift and painless. 

No matter. She already has everything she needs. She's not coming back home ever. Neither is Zuko. 

The lady hands Azula a satchel, "Your travel papers, coins, and everything you need is in there." The lady bows her head. "General Liu has arranged everything for you to reach your destination safely. Any inn you choose to visit will already be expecting you. You must show the crest of Liu's family _only_ to the cooks. Not to the owners," she warns softly. "The rest is up to you, miss."

Azula curtly nods. "Thank you," she states without truly meaning it.

"Bye," Zuko says shyly, still hiding half of his face. 

The old lady bows once more before she pulls her hood up and heads out. 

Zuko looks back at Azula, wincing as he snuggles into his sister's arms. "She was nice and I liked her pies. And she put cold jelly on my…" Zuko sniffles quietly and burrows his face from the world again. Too weary to talk.

Azula doesn't like how timid and fearful her brother has become. Zuko should be all sunshine and amber honey; of smiles that never fade. 

Azula brushes Zuko's hair, carefully avoiding the gauze. "Were you scared?"

Zuko shakes his head. "She said she was taking me to you. I'm not scared,” he admits lowly.

Azula's gaze softens just the tiniest bit.

"Come on." she secures the satchel on her shoulder and sets Zuko down on her hips, gently carrying the boy. Zuko encircles his arms around Azula's neck. 

"Zu'a," Zuko mutters. 

"Hmm?"

"Please don't take me back to daddy," the boy begs in a hushed tone. Azula's grip on her brother tightens. They need to be quick and avoid the public if they wish to elude the Fire Lord. 

"No, Zuzu. I'm taking you away from him. Far away, I promise."

"Okay." Zuko nuzzles into the safety Azula's warmth.

Outside, an ostrich horse is waiting for them.

\--

It's a long way to their destination.

But Azula is as merciless as she is resourceful. And she has something very dear with her that she wishes to protect.

Besides, General Liu keeps the end of his bargain. Everything is thoroughly arranged just like she's requested of him. 

She almost feels terrible for causing his possible death. Almost.

\--

Zuko carries with him a red angry scar. It's marred almost half of Zuko’s face and he can barely open his left eye. 

It takes some time for Azula to truly look at her precious baby brother without feeling the choked heaviness in her heart. She's got no time for self-pity. Not when she has to put all of her focus on prioritizing Zuko's safety. 

She cannot cry. 

It's already enough that sometimes Zuko cries from the pain, tiny hands clawing at Azula’s fingers, begging for her to stop the throbbing ache. Azula holds her brother and doesn’t let go. 

She daydreams of Ozai’s corpse beneath her feet; mangled and burned, and Azula smiles. 

\--

"Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise," Azula says. Zuko pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

\--

They do not head to the next town, nor to the next town after that. It's too risky, for now. So they stick to the road less traveled and camp at a secluded spot. 

Zuko sits near the small fire pit, staring out at the stars; mouth slightly open as he blinks at the silver dots painting the nocturnal heaven. It's a blessing that his scar starts to hurt less and less.

"Zu’a?"

"Hmm?"

"Is mom up there? Is she a star now?"

Azula stares at her brother, confused. "Why would mom be? She's ashes now. Nothing else."

"Oh," Zuko whispers. "Okay." he rubs at his good eye.

Somehow, Azula has an inkling that's not the answer her brother wishes to hear.

_Where would mom be? She's nothing but ashes. Just like Lu Ten. That's all there is to it._

\--

The journey is tiring. Eventually, they stop at the next village to restock their supply and to rest. It's dry and people barely pay attention to them. In their eyes, the siblings are just two orphans, unfortunate products from the war.

Zuko is sleeping in her arms when Azula enters the tavern, sneakily goes to the kitchen, and zeroes in on the cook standing near the hearth.

She looks up and her eyes find Azula. 

"Can I help you?"

Azula steadies Zuko with one arm while she reaches for her purse, producing the crest of the Liu family. She shows it to the cook.

The woman's face turns solemn. "Right this way."

They’re offered a room in the attic. Azula doesn't complain, seeing that the room is far better organized for a quick retreat, should they need it.

Azula puts Zuko on the bed. The child stirs and wriggles, turning to his side as he slowly blinks to accommodate to the new sight. 

"Go to sleep, Zuzu." Azula strokes his hair. The rhythm is relaxed and measured, lulling the child into a serene slumber. 

Azula doesn't sleep. As night falls, her gaze goes to the small porthole on the wall. Outside, Azula sees the heavy dust collecting from afar, the sound of stomping is loud against the loam. 

When the soldiers in red burn the village and kill the people, they rush into the small tavern and search all the rooms. 

In the attic, there are no signs of its occupants. The village continues to burn.

\--

"Zula, look! A shooting star! Hurry, uncle said we need to make a wish before it disappears!"

"I don't need to wish for anything. I'm already perfect."

\--

"Zula, why is your fire blue?"

"Because my fire is stronger."

"Why?" 

"So I can protect you better."

\--

"Close your eyes and cover your ears," Azula whispers to her baby brother. Zuko looks up at her, bemused. 

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Oh, okay," Zuko softly says. He obeys, humming a favorite tune he's heard from uncle. 

Her lips curve upward before she exits the small tent and closes the flap behind her. Azula exhales and ties her hair properly into a ponytail. The ostrich horse is agitated. 

"The Fire Lord--"

"Corpses don't speak," Azula reminds them. She stares at the group of Fire Nation soldiers surrounding the campsite. They're so young. "So be quiet and don't scream. I don't want any of you to scare my brother."

Azula leaps forward and _ignites_.

She forbids Zuko to open his eye when they hop on the ostrich horse and leave the campsite. He doesn't need another nightmare. 

The bodies are left to rot.

Azula feels the thrill of extinguishing lives pulsing through her veins.

Ozai can send as many men as he wants.

Azula will turn all of them to cinders. 

\--

"Don't move. Let me look at your face."

Zuko stays still, sobbing. 

"Stop that. I'm not going to hurt you." She placates. Zuko is always upset whenever Azula wants to check or touch his scar. The gauze is no longer needed but she still needs to put the ointment from time to time to soothe the pain and the angry red marks.

Azula examines the wound closely, "It's getting better."

"...really?" Zuko's voice is small. 

"Of course."

"You don't think I look weird?"

Azula rolls her eyes, fond. "Never, Zuzu."

\--

Azula can barely sleep. Every time she closes her eyes all she sees is Zuko's stilled body in Ozai's arms, cold and pale. Just like mother. 

Sometimes Zuko is ashes, slipping through Ozai's fingers like silver sand.

Sometimes Zuko's eyes are wide open, unseeing, his pupils roll into the back of his head. He's crying even in his death.

Sometimes, Azula sees her mother. She’s pale, her feet do not touch the ground and she always sobs. Zuko's broken body is in her arms. And mother is so angry at her. _Why didn’t you keep him safe, Azula? Why didn’t you?_

Azula can barely sleep. She dreams of hell all the time.

She's so tired. 

\--

"Are we letting Ms. Puu go?"

"Yes, we're nearing the ship that will take us-- did you name the fucking ugly ostrich horse?"

Zuko's lips tremble. 

"Don't be mean to Ms. Puu! She's nice!" 

\--

The ship sails without any delay. Azula grips their forged passports and tucks them into her satchel. 

They find a good spot to huddle close but Zuko refuses to stay still. He's standing on top of a box as he looks at the vast ocean, the sun reflecting on the water. 

"Do you think there's a monster under the water?"

"Not here. But at the Serpent's Pass."

"Can we go there?"

"_No._ Only idiots take that route."

Zuko pouts. 

She hears footsteps incoming. Azula quickly turns on her heels to observe the approaching person. A boy, possibly older than her. Not a firebender or one of her fathe--...one of Ozai's spies. Just another idiot then.

Azula arches a brow at him. "It's rude to stare."

The boy's eyes snap to her.

"Sorry, just…"

This time, Zuko turns around, looks at the intruder, and hides behind Azula, peeking carefully from behind her.

The young man smiles at Zuko, he glances at the scar. "Little brother?"

Azula huffs. "No, my son."

The other looks surprised. "Wait, really?"

"_No_, idiot. He's my brother. So please kindly fuck off."

"Y-yeah," Zuko peers bravely, eyes scared despite his attempt to be daring. "Go away, dummy!"

_Weak, but a good attempt nonetheless._ Azula grins. _Good boy._

The young man blinks at Zuko before he looks at Azula. "Are you just going to let him talk like that?"

"He's got a voice. He can say whatever he wants," Azula replies. 

The other raises his hands. "Okay. Fine. Sorry for trying to be nice. But listen, you seem capable. Just wondering if you--"

"No. Fuck off."

He leaves them alone eventually, but not before shoving wheat into his mouth and winking at the fire siblings.

Ugh. Peasant. If these are the kind of people she has to deal with once they've reached their destination then Agni preserves her soul because Azula might accidentally kill someone just for breathing her way. 

\--

At night, the ship is shaken by the sea. Zuko curls in Azula's lap.

"I love you, Zu'a."

"...me too." _I love you above all else._

She plays with the soft dark locks until Zuko's asleep. 

\--

"We're here."

Zuko gasps in her arms, staring in awe at their surroundings. "We're in Basing Tea?"

"Ba Sing Se, Zuko. Ba-Sing-Se." Azula ruffles his hair, kissing her baby brother's forehead. "Everything will be okay."

Azula knows where she's going, carefully avoiding dangerous nooks and people as they head further and further into the Lower Ring. She doesn't stop even though a familiar scent begins to fill the air. Azula follows after the trail until she finally reaches her intended location. 

Zuko squirms in her arms. 

Azula looks at the name of the shop - Pao Tea House - and scrunches her nose. People are crowding the place and Azula doesn't doubt whose brew is attracting all these people. 

There's a familiar figure inside, pouring tea for his customers. Zuko seems to catch the sight of the man; his eyes widen and he gapes for a moment before the boy is begging to be settled down.

Azula puts him down on the floor and Zuko quickly bolts inside the shop. His tiny legs are no longer shaky. Zuko lets out a happy gurgle of, "Uncle!", and then there's the sound of something clattered to the floor.

Azula spots Zuko being cradled gently by familiar large arms. The old man cries once he spots Zuko's scar. 

She finally takes a deep breath. 

After all this time, they've finally found their fat uncle. 

But the man is not her target. Wherever uncle is, _he_ is there, too. 

Azula enters the shop, pushing away all the intruding customers, passing by his uncle - who's still not paying attention to her as he sobs and kisses and embraces Zuko as if he's finally found his lost treasure - and making her way towards a specific table.

She stops in front of a group of children, probably around her age. A bald boy looks up at her, his blue tattoo is prominent.

"Urm… yes?" The boy asks sheepishly. His companions give her a suspicious look. Especially the water tribe girl. _A savage so far away from her home._

"Avatar," Azula starts slowly, only between the two of them, as she gives the boy an unimpressed gaze. _This child is the savior of the world?_

"I'm princess Azula, daughter of Fire Lord Ozai and Fire Lady Ursa, heir to the throne, and wielder of the blue flame. I am here to help you kill my father."

\--


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta)_

\--

Uncle is too soft.

He's pampering the Avatar instead of training him. Every little hiccup, every little mistake is met with the reassurance that the Avatar will do better next time.

He does _not._

Azula and uncle have agreed that the fat old man will teach the sniveling useless brat the basics and she will teach the Avatar the advanced sets. 

But at the pace they're going, it seems unlikely she'll be teaching the Avatar any time soon.

Not to mention the terrible fact that the Avatar does not kill. _All lives are precious,_ the Avatar has said. _We do not kill,_ the Avatar has said. Azula wants nothing else but to set the stupid boy ablaze. _Useless._

Azula has never met a far more inept and juvenile group than the Avatar and his companions. 

Uncle doesn't even point this out to the Avatar. The airbender is acting like a child and hoping everything will miraculously work in his favor. 

No one is taking the war seriously. The Avatar is too busy searching for his lost pet in Ba Sing Se.

But.

Does Azula care about the war? Probably not. Does she want it to end? That's debatable. The only thing she craves right now is Ozai's death. For Zuko's sake. 

Yet, with the way things go--

Azula sighs. Now it seems like a mistake adding the Avatar as part of the equation to overthrow the Fire Lord. 

No matter. She's not the type to mourn over a small error. For now, the Avatar is not allowed to die until he's fulfilled his responsibility. He needs to become a fully-realized Avatar before he can be of use.

"Zula?"

Azula takes a deep breath and gives Zuko a resigned look. "What is it, Zuzu?" 

"Can I help Aang look for Appa?"

“Who the fuck is Appa?”

"Appa is the Avatar's bison! Aang said mean people took him away," Zuko sullenly adds the last part.

Ah, yes. The Avatar's missing pet. 

Azula stands from her seat and removes the apron. She's done playing pretend as a waitress for today. It's tiring and irritating letting people order her around. Even if one of those people is her uncle. 

"Might as well. I'll accompany you," Azula says. The sooner they find this pet, the quicker the Avatar can focus on his firebending training, the sooner he'll fulfill his make-believe _destiny._ That's the only element he hasn't mastered yet.

"Thank you!" Zuko chirps, hugging Azula's knees. He gently holds her by the hand and drags Azula with him. 

"Hurry up! Uncle said we should be home before nightfall 'cause _there are lots of bad people here_," Zuko whispers, stepping closer to Azula. 

Azula snorts. If uncle means bad people as in the Dai Li, then he shouldn't have had let the Avatar and his companions be around him. That's just screaming _attention._

\--

"And remember, Zuzu. I'm Mei Rin and you are--"

"Zuzu!" Zuko bounces where he's standing; eyes clear with childish eagerness as his chubby hands form into fists. 

She tenderly brushes Zuko's scar with her thumb. "No. It's Li."

"But, I want to be Zuzu." Zuko pouts. "Please let me be Zuzu."

"No. You cannot.”

"But I want to." Zuko sniffles, rubbing at his eyes.

Azula exhales slowly. "Fine. You can be Zuzu."

Zuko blinks up at her, hiccups, and smiles shyly. "Kay, thanks."

_Agni, I've gone soft_

\--

They arrive at the market. It's not as crowded as days ago.

"There you are!" the Avatar grins once he spots Zuko's tiny form, only for that grin to slip off once he sees Azula trailing after her baby brother. What? Like she's going to let Zuko venturing alone. She doesn't trust the Avatar to keep her precious brother safe. 

"Oh, erm, you're here, too," the Avatar mutters awkwardly. 

Azula grins. "Worried I might ruin your fun, Avatar?" 

"No! That's--no!" the Avatar shakes his head. "And it's not for _fun_. We're looking for Appa. This is important!" 

"Of course it is, Aang," the female peasant consoles him, putting her hand gently on his shoulder. 

She smiles sweetly at the Avatar and the Avatar smiles back at her and Azula almost gags. Really? _Really?_ Lovebirds? Terrible. 

"Azula knows it's important. She's just teasing you."

"It's _Mei Rin_, savage. Do remember that when you’re speaking to me in public."

The girl turns to her and glares. The Avatar scowls. "People have names, you know? I'm Aang. This is Katara. Her brother is Sokka and the earthbender is Toph. Not just Avatar or savages or a blind imp."

At the mention of the waterbender’s brother and the blind earthbender, Azula surveys her surroundings. They're absent. The lemur as well. "Where are the other two and your pet? Have you lost them, too?"

"Are you even listening to what Aang just said--"

"Momo is not a pe--"

"Are you fighting?"

All three of them quickly cast their glance at the small child hiding behind Azula, looking sad. He observes the Avatar and the water tribe girl before Zuko throws his gaze at his sister. His eyes are wet, concerned, but the tears do not fall. 

"Please don't fight," Zuko whispers. 

Azula opens her mouth to soothe the child.

But the water tribe girl is quicker. She's already on her knees in front of Zuko, smiling kindly at him; looking apologetic. Zuko hides deeper behind Azula's knees.

"We're sorry, Zuko. It won't happen again. I promise, okay?" The waterbender appeases.

Zuko rubs his face against Azula's tunic and nods weakly. "M'kay."

Even the Avatar looks awful for causing such distress on her brother. 

"Well, why don't we put these posters up, okay? Sokka and Toph are already ahead of us," the Avatar assures. He offers his hand to Zuko, waiting. 

The child totters hesitantly towards the airbender and takes his hand shyly, smiling at the Avatar. A gesture that's returned without hesitation. 

For some reason, the Avatar is rather fond of Zuko and is quick to build a bond with him. Azula can allow that. But only because she's sure the Avatar is willing to put himself in harm's way to protect Zuko.

\--

The search proves to be fruitless. 

And there is this awful thing that's called itself Joo Dee, accompanying the Avatar and his companions around Ba Sing Se. 

Something is wrong with it. From the way it smiles and talks like a marionette without its strings.

Something dark lingers in Ba Sing Se.

\--

"Ba Sing Se isn't what it seems, niece."

"I know that, uncle. I'm not a fool like the Avatar."

Uncle chuckles, pouring himself another cup of tea.

"But nothing can be done for now." Uncle gives her a look, sipping his tea slowly, carefully, enjoying the balm on his tongue. 

Azula squints. "Is it Long Feng?"

"Ah, you know of it."

"Yes, I _know_ of it. I didn't come here unprepared."

"Then." Uncle puts the porcelain teapot down. "I'm sure the Avatar would be more willing to shift his aim to Fire Nation and its ruler once his concerns have been put to rest. He's simply a poor boy looking for his bison and to have an audience with the Earth king."

Azula glares. Unbelievable. She's being manipulated by uncle to end the Avatar's misfortunes. 

"Why the Earth king?"

"To seek assistance for the invasion, I presume."

"What invasion?"

"The Day of the Black Sun, niece. I'm sure you’re aware of it."

Azula hums. Invasion? Against the Fire Nation during the eclipse? 

_I've thought of assassinating Ozai during the eclipse before but--_

It's too risky to make that gamble. Azula is willing to risk anything but Zuko's life. _If the assassination had failed, Zuko would have paid the price, too._

But now it's different. 

The Avatar. The invasion during the eclipse. It _might_ just work. Maybe she can use this to her advantage. 

"Do you think they’ll succeed?"

"Before? I wasn’t so sure. Now? There's a chance we might succeed since you're here."

_Huh. Wicked old man._ "Just because I devised the adjustments to repel any attempt at invasion, it doesn't mean it'd go smoothly. Ozai has probably altered everything by now as precautions."

"Perhaps," uncle concurs. It's quiet for a moment. 

Uncle breaks it with a curt but soft, "You can share your wisdom with dear Sokka. He needs all the help he can get."

Azula tsks. "Yes, fine." 

A beat. And then, "Why did you betray Ozai? You had a good life at the Fire Nation. Ozai listened to your council."

Uncle chuckles. "For peace, I suppose. A closure. To bring balance--"

"What is it with you and the Avatar about this _bringing balance_ nonsense?"

Uncle stops and blows his tea. The smoke wafts in the air. The aroma is calming. 

"Before, it was merely to correct my errors. Now? There's more to it as well, niece." Uncle puts his cup on its saucer. His voice has gone lower. Dangerous. Acidic.

"Ozai hurt my nephew. You may believe what you want of me, niece, but we both fiercely love Zuko. That boy is my world and Ozai has harmed what he should have never touched."

For the very first time, Azula sees a dangerous glimmer in her uncle's eyes - of a general that has led the infamous siege for six hundred days. 

The anger is gone in an instant when his gaze falls on Zuko. The child innocently watches Pao prepare his tea, tiptoeing to get a better look at the procedure. 

Uncle looks at Azula once more. 

"I'll be leaving eventually. The Avatar will need as much help as he can get before the eclipse and I intend to deliver that to him. I know people who are willing to help," uncle states. "And I'll be joining the invasion as well."

Then uncle sadly shakes his head. "I have to leave Zuko behind Again. But I must do what needs to be done."

She doesn't doubt uncle has another plan concocted but that's for him to worry. Her concern lies elsewhere. 

"How about the Avatar's training? That idiot still hasn't mastered even the basic katas."

"I'll leave that to you, niece." Uncle puts his hand on her shoulder, gripping it gently. "He will not find a better firebending teacher than you." 

He draws back and makes a move to stand. 

Azula watches him for a moment before she begrudgingly whispers a low, "Thanks." 

Uncle only smiles sincerely. "Of course, Azula."

\--

Azula observes the Avatar and his group closely. They're crowding the small kitchen, thanking uncle wholeheartedly when he serves them ginseng tea, exchanging stories here and there. 

Zuko shyly sips his warm milk. He’s seated on the Avatar's lap as the airbender pats the child's head fondly. 

The water tribe girl makes a soft sound at the child, pinching Zuko's round cheek every time he perks at the water tribe boy's exaggerated tales. The blind girl chimes in occasionally, trying to enjoy the fragile little bubble of peace.

Azula turns away from the group. After quietly listening to the tales of their misadventures, she wonders how they’re still alive. _I'm putting all of my chances on a bunch of buffoons. Unbelievable._

“--and then my first girlfriend turned into the moon,” the water tribe boy tells gloomily. 

Azula stares flatly at the peasant. “That story is as bullshit as your fucking hairline.”

“What-- _hey!_”

"Azula," uncle breathes, disappointed. "Please. No bad words in front of Zuko."

"No bad words in front of Zuzu!" Zuko chirps happily. 

"Poor baby." The waterbender pecks the child's temple. Then she glares at Azula. "You should have known better than to say those awful words while Zuko is around."

Azula ignores the peasant and drinks her tea instead. 

"Excuse me? I'm the victim here!" the water tribe boy cries, aghast.

\--

"Uh, where's uncle Iroh? Isn't he supposed to be…you know? The one teaching me?"

"I'm your full-time firebending teacher now, Avatar. Let's get to know each other _better_."

"Uncle Iroh--"

"--is spending more time with my darling brother. _Now focus_."

\--

"You're scaring, Aang," the male water tribe accuses. "You're supposed to be teaching him. Not scaring him. The boy already had a bad experience with firebending before." 

He mutters something suspiciously like 'crazy blue' under his breath. 

"Bad experience?" Azula quirks her eyebrows.

"He's…" he sighs. "He accidentally burned Katara before and--"

"Fine." Azula huffs. Problems here. Problems there. They're never-ending. She just wants to get this over with. 

She can't help the boy get over his fear of firebending if she doesn't know him well. 

\--

What do people do to bond? What’s the thing again? Ah, yes, hanging out.

“Avatar, let us mingle. _Just the two of us_. I heard the market at night is quite lively.”

“W-what?” the Avatar blinks. And then he blushes. “I’m sorry, Azula. But I already like someone else.”

_Oh, you stupid little-- calm down._

“Avatar, we’re going out only as f--frie--” Azula breathes through her nose. “As _friends.” Urgh_

“Oh, okay. But why?”

“Don’t you wish to know your master better?” 

“Well, I mean sure. But--”

“Wonderful. Then come.” 

Azula braces her arm around the Avatar’s neck and gracefully hauls him out from the tea shop. Great. Now. Bonding. Maybe if the Avatar is more at ease, he can focus better.

They return home late in the night with the Avatar looking pale and mortified. 

“I. am. Not. Hanging out. With you. Ever again," the Avatar half-sobs. "Thank spirits no one saw us."

“I thought it went pretty well,” she hums.

“Are you crazy?! Everything was on fire!”

“But no one died.”

\--

The bonding session is proven to be pointless. 

The Avatar barely concentrates on his training. 

It's always about the bison, the Earth King, Dai Li, and Long Feng. 

The water tribe boy also seems to resent Azula for finding out about their plan for the invasion and harbors negative feelings towards uncle for telling her.

Not her problem. He'll calm down sooner or later. The male savage has a soft spot for her uncle. Uncle and Zuko anyway. None for her. Thank Agni. 

"This place is huge! How are we supposed to find Appa?" The Avatar unceremoniously falls on the nearby bench. 

"We'll find him. Tis' okay." Zuko pats the airbender's hand gently. The Avatar takes solace in that, pushing himself up to embrace Zuko. 

"Thanks, Zuzu," the Avatar softly says.

"Little squirt likes to be hugged, huh?" The girl, the blind earthbender, teases. 

Zuko twists from the Avatar's hold to waddle towards her to hug the girl, giggling when the earthbender lifts him and tickles his chest.

Azula grumbles. Everyone is stealing Zuko from her. Not that she's jealous.

"Look who's jealous," the male water tribe claims loudly, grinning at Azula.

Nope. Can’t kill one of the Avatar’s friends. Bad for morale.

\--

"Avatar?"

"Yes?"

"It's been nearly two weeks and you still can't perform even the intermediate set yet."

"It's because--"

"When I bring you your bison and an opportunity to speak with the Earth king, will you swear to focus on your training?" 

"...yes?"

"Then give me four days. Oh, and allow me to borrow the Beifong girl and your dearest girlfriend."

\--

Four days later, the Avatar's bison is freed, the Dai Li is under her thumb and Long Feng is locked away. 

Azula is with the confused Earth king - his bear is beside him - as they walk towards Pao's Tea Shop. People are squinting at them, unsure of the sight and the presence of a man looking so luxurious with his massive pet. 

Curious. Do they know how their king looks like? 

"Appa!" the Avatar's voice is loud and joyous once a huge white beast lands in front of the shop. He hops onto the soft fur and weeps. The rest of his friends join him. 

The bison makes a contented sound, closing its eyes and basking in the offered warmth. 

Azula snorts. Children. 

"Here," she says casually, pushing the Earth king towards the Avatar. "Now, will you focus on your training?"

Inside the tea shop, she can hear uncle's booming laughter. 

\--

"If you could have done all of that in the first place, then why didn't you?" The water tribe boy squawks. 

Azula shrugs. "I was expecting too much from all of you, I suppose."

\--

"Thank you, Azula."

"For _accidentally_ burning you?"

"No. For saving Appa and well… for everything. I know we were harsh on you the first time we met. Being the Fire Lord's daughter and all but we were wrong. Katara and Toph vouched for you, too.

The Avatar kicks the dirt beneath his feet. "I thought you wanted to defeat the Fire Lord out of selfish--"

"You're not wrong. It is out of pure selfishness. I don't care about the war. I only want Ozai dead and nothing you say will change that."

The Avatar's eyes narrow. "And I told you before, I do not take lives. Regardless of what he's done, your father is still a person. A human being. It's against the teachings of my people."

_I know that, vermin._

"Truly? But I read the reports on what you did to the Fire Nation soldiers at the North Pole. You slaughtered those _young, poor soldiers_," Azula prods, jutting her bottom lip almost too mockingly. 

The Avatar's eyes twitch. "That was different! It wasn't me, it was the spirit!" he looks down at his feet. “It wasn’t me.”

"Excuses, Avatar? Only those who know they are at fault dare to make excuses," she remarks. 

The airbender glares at her.

Azula dismissively waves her hand. Teasing the boy is no fun. He cracks too easily.

Oh well. 

She is here now and _fine_, Azula has no other way but to accept that she can't change the boy's belief any time soon. Or ever. Who knows. 

She's met people like the Avatar before; those whose credence is like the second heart in their chests; entangled and unbendable. _If the Avatar was anyone else, I could just break him._ But he’s not just somebody so Azula has to adapt. 

"Very well then. It's good enough if you can weaken or apprehend him. I'll handle the rest."

"...w-what are you going to do to him?"

Azula hums. "What you cannot do, Avatar."

The Avatar looks dejected. "No, I won't let you kill your father."

"We'll see."

\--

"I got kidnapped before but I got away by mastering metalbending,” the earthbender girl proudly informs Zuko.

Zuko looks up at her in awe. "That's amazing! Zu'a can't do that!"

The blind girl laughs. "Yep, little squirt. Only me."

"Well," Azula interjects, "I can generate lightning. Let's see if that metalbending of yours can protect you from a huge surge of energy."

The earthbender grins. "You're on, _princess_."

Later on, with scratches and specks of dirt all over them, Azula and the smaller girl quietly drink their tea together.

“You’re not that bad. For an earthbender.” Azula is surprised she means those words.

“Thanks.” the Beifong girl - Toph - sounds smug. “I kicked your ass by the way.”

“_Please_. You couldn’t even touch me.”

\--

After a long discussion with his generals, king Kuei agrees to offer Earth Kingdom’s assistance during the invasion.

There's nothing else for them to do in Ba Sing Se. Uncle takes his leave, heading to wherever it is he must go. He promises he'll return to them before the eclipse.

Zuko cries again when he has to part with uncle and only calms down when Azula takes him into her arms and hums mother's favorite lullaby in his ear. 

Uncle looks devastated but he has his responsibility and he can't give Zuko a peaceful world if they fail.

Maybe uncle is not as useless. 

\--

"Where are we going?"

"Ember island. We can wait for the eclipse there at my family’s summer home while I train the Avatar. Your bison can take us there."

"Oh, well, I think--"

"I'm with Azula on this."

"What? Katara! You're siding with her?"

"Because we're friends?"

"Since when?"

"Since we posed ourselves as fancy courtesans, infiltrated the royal palace, and duped Long Feng together? It's a girl thing, Sokka. Leave it be."

"Yeah, Sokka. Leave it be."

"Toph, you too?"

\--

Nothing's changed at Ember Island. 

But Zuko likes the beach and he's curious about the seashells. 

It's such an endearing sight to see her baby brother running on the beach and splashing the crystalline water. 

Next time, she'll bring him here again and they can stay for however long Zuko wants.

_It was mom's favorite place, too_

\--

"Lift your foot higher, Avatar, unless you aim to give your enemy an opening to make you bleed. And _watch_ your stance. One wrong footing and you'll be dead."

Aang squeaks, giving her a pathetic look.

Azula sighs. She demonstrates exactly where his flaws lie and in seconds, the boy falls flat on his back, breathing hard.

"See?" Azula stares at him. "Your _footwork_. Focus on your footwork."

"But uncle Iroh said breathing is the most important root in firebending."

"Yes, but do I need to mention that to you? Do you not breathe every moment of your life? Must I remind you every day that power in firebending comes from the breath? Can't you remember such a simple thing?"

"Well, I…"

"I'm not Iroh. I won't pamper you. Now. Stand up and do it again."

She's tired and irritated. The sun is blistering today and she hasn't had a proper sleep in a while. Nightmares often disturb her slumber. 

The training goes for hours until the sun is nearly hidden behind the hills but Azula is yet to be satisfied with the results. He's improved but only barely. 

The Avatar is too timid.

"You're a talented kid, Avatar. But you're unsure. Afraid."

"Sorry. It's just--...I'm trying," the Avatar admits. He's sprawled on the floor, exhausted. "But what if I couldn't master it and my fire went out of control?"

"Your girlfriend is not here. You are with me and I'm more than capable of blocking your tiny flame," Azula says offhandedly and then adds, "Your fire is weak. Just like your resolve and with the way you are right now, you're more than likely to harm yourself than anyone else."

The airbender glares at her. "You have no idea how it feels like to accidentally burn someone."

"No, I don't." She grips the Avatar's arm and hauls him harshly to his feet. 

"But I've watched Ozai burned someone very dear to me and I'm not letting that happen again. Ever."

Azula forcefully grabs the Avatar's jaws, forcing him to look at her. Amber eyes are laced with resentment. _Savior of the world_. All she sees is nothing but a foolish little boy who’s afraid to get his hands bloodied. 

_It’d be so easy to kill him here. It’d be mercy_

"I know how it feels like when helplessness gets under your skin and your feet are rooted to the earth and you can do nothing but watch while the person you love wails and screams as they burn. The smell of scorched skin gets too much and your eyes water from it and you wish it's just a nightmare but it is _real_ because you know that even if you gouge your eyeballs out and cut off your ears, you can still see the burning. _You can still hear the scream_.”

Azula steadies the young boy. The Avatar looks up at her in dawning horror.

"How do you think Zuko got his scar? An accident? No. It's because I was _afraid_. Don't repeat my mistakes, Avatar. Don't let fear act as your walking stick. You'd be paralyzed."

"Azula--"

"Now stand properly, control your breathing, and start again."

\--

Ozai will never stop hunting her and Zuko for as long as he lives. She's thought of dealing with Ozai by herself again and again, even if the possible outcome for her is certain death.

But then where will that leave Zuko? He'll have no one if she dies. Uncle is untrustworthy when it comes to Zuko's safety. 

That's why Azula needs the Avatar. And if the Avatar perishes along with the Fire Lord, it's a sacrifice she's willing to make. 

Right?

Right. 

\--

"There are seven bunkers respectively but only six bunkers are easier to locate and each of this reinforced shelter will be occupied during the eclipse. Six people will act as decoys to throw off possible invaders to deter them from reaching the Fire Lord's exact location in time."

"So only one bunker is the right one," Toph points out.

"And we'd waste our time going around in circles." the water tribe boy narrows his eyes at that, looking a bit displeased. “The eclipse lasts only for eight minutes.”

Azula only nods at him. She puts her palm on of one the drafts on the table. "The last fortification is hidden behind the fourth bunker. One of the decoys will be there, with dozens of soldiers waiting for the invaders. Kill them--"

"--knock them out cold," the Avatar quickly corrects her.

"Whatever. There's a door to the vault behind the platform. You'll know when you see it. Get behind there, continue south until you reach a massive bronze metal door." Azula explains.

"That's where I come in."

"Exactly." Azula stares at the earthbender. She has no doubts Toph is more than capable to do what must be done.

"Rip the door open. Just be ready. Ozai is not alone. His best guards will be there to fight and die for him if they must. Their armors are almost impenetrable. Your sword and boomerang won't work against them, peasant. Let the Avatar and Toph deal with them. You're useless here."

"Hey!"

“And watch out for the lava.”

“What lava?”

"Honestly, all of these just to get to the right bunker? That's some dedication there," the waterbender states.

Azula preens at that "Why thank you. I tried."

They blink. "You organized this?"

Azula rolls her eyes. "Obviously. How do you think I know where the bunker is? If I weren't on your side, I'd be there to distract you from reaching Ozai. I’d probably just toy around with you until the time was up."

“Yeah, like we’d fall for a cheap trick like that,” the water tribe boy grumbles.

Azula almost beams at that. 

"Well," the waterbender starts hastily, "I'll be with my father." Then she looks at Azula. "How about you? Where will you be?"

Azula pretends to ponder. "Give me some time to think about it," she answers. 

She already knows what she'll do. She'll tell them when she feels like it.

\--

"What's the point of mastering firebending if we're going to attack the Fire Lord during an eclipse anyway?" 

"I'm the Avatar, Toph. If there's to be peace with the Fire Nation, its people must know I'm willing to advocate for them as well and I can't do that if they don't see me mastering their element and adapting to their cultures." the Avatar answers softly, all the while keeping his eyes on Azula.

Azula gives him a curt nod. "Wise words, Avatar."

Maybe he's not an utter fool after all.

\--

They'll be leaving in a few days. The eclipse is nearing. Azula will be unable to bend but she's more than capable to defend herself. But not against her fath--...against Ozai. 

Regardless, she eventually volunteers to join the Avatar to assist him. Just like she's intended. The Avatar reluctantly agrees, unsure if bringing her with him is a wise choice. He's still worried she might kill Ozai. 

Azula pays no attention to his concerns. 

She is under no illusion that there's a chance it might take more than eight minutes to reach Ozai, considering he's probably anticipating the assault. By then, all the firebenders can already summon their flame once more.

Or. There's also the likelihood of Ozai altering his location if he's smart enough to put into account that Azula might share the secrets with the enemies. 

Too many probabilities.

Yet, she doesn't suspect the Avatar to be vulnerable. The boy has fair chances of winning.

She might not win the battle against Ozai before but now she's not going alone. 

\--

"Zu'a?"

"Hmm?"

"Where are you going tomorrow? Jin said you're leaving. Aang wouldn't tell me where. Katara, too. And Toph and Sokka and Momo!" Zuko exclaims.

"Just somewhere." Azula pats her brother's head. "And maybe if Jin shuts her mouth and babysits you quietly, I might double her payment."

"Jin is nice! She came with us to help Aang!"

"She came with us because I _convinced_ her to babysit you."

Zuko is silent for a moment before he speaks again. "Promise you'll come back? Promise, kay?"

Zuko toddles towards her and raises his arms, asking to be held. Azula abides but instead of carrying him, Azula kneels on the floor; her knees under her as she cradles Zuko to her chest, kissing the boy's messy hair.

"Listen to Jin and don't do anything stupid. I'll be back soon enough.'

"Okay."

Zuko is three-year-old. Still so young and already he's carrying a scar. Azula has failed him once. There won't be a second time. 

“_I love you_,” Azula mutters to the boy. It feels foreign to say it but that’s the truth and it’s not a secret she tries to hide underneath her skin or burns it with her fire. “You know that, right? I love you. More than anything.”

Zuko snuggles closer, trying to share his warmth with her. “Me too, Zu’a.”

Azula smiles her first smile that day. 

_I just want to keep you safe_

\--

They've arrived at the Fire Nation. 

The eclipse is here. 

Azula watches the Avatar's departing back, rushing towards uncertainty. She follows him.

The avatar will defeat the Fire Lord for her and Azula will deal with Ozai however she must. Even if she must suffer the Avatar's wrath by killing the Fire Lord.

It's only with Ozai gone, Zuko will truly be safe. _Everything is for Zuko_

But what if the Avatar perishes along the way? Then it's fine. It's a sacrifice she's willing to make. It's fine.

Azula stops.

"Aang," she calls out to the Avatar. The airbender turns around, startled. "This is an order from the future Fire Lord: you are not permitted to die," she commands.

Aang smiles at her. "Got it."

He will be fine. Azula doesn't doubt that. 

Aang is her student after all. 

\--


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Important A/N: Not an English speaker and this isn't beta)_

\--

"Azula, stop," Aang begs, battered and wounded but he stands tall despite it all. Behind him, the clouds accumulated, blocking the already piercing sun. 

The eclipse has long been over. 

"He can't fight anymore."

Azula looks at the Avatar. Then at Ozai on the cracked ground, beaten and bloodied. 

_There are worse things in life than death. _

She can hear the Avatar make a move to stop her if he must. “I'm not letting you kill your father,” he declares, tired.

Azula stares and stares and stares at the man before she slowly snuffs out her flame. The embers break in the wind, getting paler and paler until it's nothing but smoke in the air. 

They've won.

But Azula is not satisfied yet.

\--

"Promise me you won't kill him."

A beat.

"I promise, Avatar. And a promise made is a promise honored. Ozai _will_ live." The tone in her voice changes a bit as she stays still. 

Azula has declared a ceasefire. Fire Nation soldiers are ordered to retreat. 

It is odd to see how many soldiers eagerly return home. 

Perhaps, no matter who you are, war has its way to spread into your blood and under your skin to rip and tear and break until there's nothing left but the curtain of weariness on your bones.

\--

"Your coronation will be in two more weeks," uncle gently informs. "I know you'll do well, niece."

"You don't have to tell me that," she snaps. Then groans. She falls back into her seat. She hears uncle chuckle, his hand on her shoulder before he pulls back. The old coot.

Her body hurts and though she's fought with all her might, Ozai has proven to be a monstrous opponent. 

_The moment Ozai could bend-- It's a good thing uncle taught Aang how to redirect lightning._

Unsurprisingly, it's taken combined efforts to take him down. 

Azula drapes a cold towel on her head. It doesn't eradicate the ache but it soothes her thoughts regardless. 

She closes her eyes and wonders what Zuko is doing right now. Her baby brother, safe and protected from the world, hidden away in Ember island, waiting for Azula to come and get him home. 

_There are no lines I really won't cross for you, huh?_

Azula can hear uncle moving behind her, humming to himself. She wonders how is that he can still stand after the full onslaught they've pulled yesterday. Azula can barely feel her bones. 

"Azula?"

She keeps her eyes closed but she rolls her shoulders to indicate she's listening. Uncle presses on.

"Where's Ozai?" he questions.

"Ask the Earth king."

Uncle inhales. "Azula, he is still your father. Surrendering him to--"

"If he were to stay here, I'd just let him suffer a slow torturous death, uncle. Don't want to upset the holier-than-thou Avatar now, don't I?"

Uncle stays quiet. After a few moments, he still offers nothing. 

Azula takes that as the end of their conversation. 

She feels flimsy like her skin is falling apart, melting. It's odd. Winning a war doesn't feel like she can feel the world in her hands. She's won a war and all she feels is tiredness. 

Azula deeply misses her brother. 

She needs to go to Ember Island. She needs to bring Zuko home. 

\--

"I'll go with you," Aang says. He smiles at her. Azula watches the boy and all she sees is a reflection of her worn-out silhouette. 

At his side, the waterbender stands quietly, fixing her bag and carefully arranging a strange looking amulet. She's joining them as well. Probably to keep an eye on the Avatar.

Azula rolls her eyes. "Fine. Do as you wish."

The Avatar sniffles a laugh. "Let's go bring Zuko home."

\--

When Azula's first told Zuko that they'll be returning to the palace, the little boy starts crying.

Zuko hides in Azula's arms, wiping the wetness from his eyes on her tunic and though his hands shake, his grip is quite strong for such a small child - smaller for his age.

Azula lifts Zuko's chin and kisses his forehead. She brushes the dark soft locks tenderly. Zuko's fear subsides a little bit from the comfort but the boy's lips still tremble as he pleads.

"No, Zu'a," Zuko sobs. "I don't want to see daddy, please. Please?" he absent-mindedly touches his scar.

"You won't be seeing him ever again. He's not there anymore. I promise," Azula affirms. 

Zuko looks up at her, unsure, wiping at his tears with tiny fists. "Why? Where's daddy?" 

Azula ponders for a moment. Her thoughts are a league away. When she finally looks at Zuko, she smiles. 

"He's somewhere."

"But not at home?"

"Not where you can see him," Azula says.

Zuko still looks unsure and Azula doesn't blame him. She traces her thumb gently against the scar on Zuko's left face. It almost resembles an angry handprint. 

"Don't you miss your turtleducks?" Azula questions. 

Zuko perks up at that, blinking innocently at Azula. "Urm…" 

Zuko makes silly faces while he contemplates. Azula has to hide her grin at that. Zuko doesn't like to be teased when he's on his 'thinking mode'. 

"I'm sure they miss you, don't you think? They might be waiting for you to come home," she adds. 

Zuko curls himself into a tiny ball as he snuggles his face against Azula's chest. He reminds her of a newborn kitten seeking warmth.

"Mmm. M'kay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. We can go home," Zuko mutters petulantly. "But can Jin come with?"

"No. She may not. I'm sending her back to her family." 

"Oh."

Azula kisses his head. 

"It'll be okay. I'll keep you safe."

\--

That night, the waterbender enters Zuko’s room while Azula is there, tucking her baby brother in. The poor boy has exhausted himself to sleep, too wary to return home.

"We need to talk," the waterbender crisply states. Her eyes wander to Zuko's sleeping form for a moment. When she looks back at Azula, the girl gives her a tight smile.

Azula narrows her eyes, leery. She doesn't believe the water tribe girl has any intention to hurt Zuko, seeing that she's fond of the child. But--

"I can heal him," the girl suddenly proclaims. "His scar, I mean. I have spirit water and it's imbued with special healing properties. I've been saving it for something important. But the war is over and maybe…"

The waterbender stops, her gaze softens. "Maybe I can try to heal Zuko's scar. If you’d let me."

Azula holds her hands and it's only when she's gripping them too tightly she realizes her limbs are trembling. She's unsure why.

She has no name for the stinging emotion twisting in her chest but for the very first time in a long while, Azula dares to hope. Even just for a moment.

"Please." Azula can't tell if it's her voice. It sounds so hollow, desperate. Scared. It doesn't sound like her at all. Azula holds her pride in her fist and crushes it.

"_Please. Please do it,_" Azula pleads. 

The waterbender--... Katara. Katara. Katara reaches out one arm and wraps it around Azula's neck. She brings Azula close to half-embrace her. "Okay," is all she says back. 

Azula puts her arms under Zuko's back and his knees, hoisting the boy from his bed and onto her lap. Zuko mumbles in his sleep, nestling closer to his sister.

Azula sits on the bed as Katara crouches in front of her, smiling so sweetly at the sleeping child. 

Zuko stirs and wakes up, rubbing at his eyes. He looks up at his sister, then at the girl kneeling before him.

"Katara," Zuko mumbles softly, smiling at the waterbender. He yawns.

"Hello there. How's the brave little prince?" Katara questions as she produces a small blue amulet from her satchel. She glances at it briefly. 

"Close your eyes for me, Zuko. It'll be okay," Katara encourages gently. Zuko only opens his mouth to yawn again. In seconds, he falls deep into another peaceful lull of sleep, curling in Azula's arms.

Katara opens the seal and slowly, a small amount of water begins to float towards her palm; it swirls in brilliant effervescent color, bright and pure. 

Katara gently guides the spirit water to Zuko's scar. It dissolves as it touches the angry skin, illuminated for a fleeting second before the red scar is gradually replaced by a new layer of healed tissue. 

Katara stops and draws away, watching in awe as the scar is now fully mended. "It worked," she claims, awe. Her eyes are wide when she looks Azula. 

Azula swallows, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Katara," she softly mutters. "Can you please… give me a moment?"

Katara only smiles at her. She touches Azula's hand, brushes Zuko's hair, gets to her feet, and leaves the room.

It's only then Azula notices Aang is standing near the door, watching them warmly. She wonders how long he's been there.

Aang nods at Azula and leaves with Katara. 

When the door closes, Azula breaks down and quickly clutches Zuko close to her chest. She cries and her sobs are loud and the sound wakes Zuko up but her baby brother doesn't get to question her because Azula refuses to let him go.

She kisses Zuko's tiny face and embraces him the whole night.

\--

"Zu'a!" Zuko runs towards her the next morning, bouncing on his feet. His hair is messy. "Zu'a, look! Look! No big scar! Look!"

Azula quirks a brow at him, smiling. Zuko's eyes are wide in wonder. 

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah! No more hurts!"

"Mmhm." Azula pats Zuko's head. "No more hurt." She kisses his forehead.

"You should thank Katara for that."

"Katara?" The boy blinks. 

He quickly mimics uncle's thinking pose, tapping his hand on his chin as he exaggeratedly sways his tiny body. It's both endearing and amusing to watch. 

Instantly, Zuko makes a small 'oh!' sound. 

"M'kay! Then I'll let Katara feed the turtleducks, too!"

\--

It'll take a couple more days for them to reach the capital.

The waves sway the ship but the rhythm is soothing. Gentle. She hears Zuko's laughter as Aang chases him around on the deck. Katara's concerned voice is loud, telling Zuko to be careful and watch his steps. 

Azula sighs and enjoys the wind. It's like her body has ascended, floating higher to the clouds, touching the sky and kissing heaven. 

Maybe peace isn't such a bad thing. 

\--

Chief Hakoda is a strange man. He loves his children and cares for his soldiers. Azula is not ashamed to admit she enjoys his company. Besides, the chief knows when to keep his thoughts to himself. 

When he spots Azula leaving the ship, the man smiles at her and that smile only grows when he sees Zuko waddling next to Azula, holding his sister's hand. 

The child curiously watches the people flocking the area, squinting at the people with different emblems and flags. 

"Princess." Hakoda bows briefly. Azula returns it with a nod. 

"Chief Hakoda."

Then his focus sweeps over to the small child hiding behind Azula's legs. Zuko is peeking at the older man.

"Hello there, little one." 

Chief Hakoda gets down on one knee, smiling warmly at Zuko. "It's an honor to finally meet the brave prince himself. I've heard so much about you from my children."

Zuko blinks, curious. "Children?" he shyly asks.

"Yes. Katara and Sokka. My pride and joy, you see."

Instantly, Zuko is no longer alarmed as before. He leaves his protective 'hideout' and stands next to Azula, looking up at chief Hakoda with innocent bright eyes. A flash of recognition passes his gaze. 

"You're 'Ahkoda! Sokka told me about you! He said you can turn into an otter penguin!"

Chief Hakoda blinks, utterly surprised before he laughs. It garners attention from people around them. 

"Sokka jests, my dear one. I assure you I cannot change into anything else but a tired old man."

"Really?"

"Indeed, yes."

Zuko pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and making a noise from the back of his throat that suggests how displeased he is at the revelation. Zuko always hates it when people lie to him. 

"That's dumb," Zuko grumbles. Chief Hakoda laughs again. 

Behind them, Azula hears incoming footsteps. Both she and chief Hakoda look up to see the water tribe boy approaching. Toph and a girl in white-faced makeup and armored green garb are trailing after him. _Huh. A Kyoshi warrior. Here?_

"Zuko!" the boy hollers, dashing towards Zuko and excitedly lifting the boy. Zuko doesn't fight him back when he pinches Zuko's round cheek. 

He briefly glances at Zuko's face, where the scar used to be, and says nothing. Azula is sure Katara has told her brother her intention to heal Zuko's scar. 

Zuko, who's still pouting, turns his face away from the water tribe boy. 

"Uh, buddy. What's wrong? Where are my hugs and kisses?"

"I think," chief Hakoda starts, putting his hand on his son's shoulder, "You've got some explaining to make to the little prince. Especially about the otter penguin,” he claims seriously

Toph guffaws. 

\--

"Why did you surrender Ozai to the Earth Kingdom?" The water tribe boy asks. He seems displeased at her choice but decides to trust her enough to handle the situation. 

"You've got a better option?" 

"Well--"

"You're not supposed to answer."

"You should have let the North Pole--"

"No," Azula harshly cuts him off. "It's part of the agreement, should Ozai survive, he would be handed to the Earth Kingdom. In exchange, king Kuei would offer us his assistance during the invasion."

The boy gives her an odd look. "You didn't mention it to us before."

"It wasn’t necessary for you or anyone else to know. It's between me and king Kuei."

"Decided not to kill your old man in the end, huh?"

"Don't want to offend the Avatar."

He observes her closely. When he says the next words, he doesn't sound too convinced, "Sure you don't."

There's an awkward silence, mostly from the boy's part. Azula just breathes and waits. 

When he finally speaks, Azula is surprised it is no longer regarding the disgraced Ozai. Just a simple, "How are you feeling?"

Azula thinks for a moment. Should she lie? Should she tell the truth? She mixes a bit of both. "Better than yesterday."

He hums. "Must have been hard. He's your dad after all."

"It's not," Azula denies sharply. 

"No?"

"No. What he did is unforgivable. He could hide in hell and I'd still seek him out. Hell is much too kinder for someone like that," she says bitterly. 

_Zuko burning. Zuko crying. Zuko being afraid._

"He did a lot of horrible things but I assume you meant what he did to Zuko." The boy plays with his thumbs. "Aang told me what Ozai did. And then I told Katara and she decided to use the spirit water on Zuko. You should have seen Katara's face when she found out how Zuko got his scar. She was so furious and heartbroken. She looked a lot like our mom at that very moment."

Ah. Azula has expected Aang might tell his friends regarding the secret behind Zuko's former scar. 

"Boys really can't mind their own business, huh?" It's not a question that's meant to be answered. The water tribe boy - Sokka - only lets out a lopsided grin without any trace of him being displeased by her statement.

"Katara would have healed Zuko even if I didn't tell her. She's too kind like that."

Azula is aware of it. 

When she speaks, her voice is small, "Thank you, Sokka." 

Azula is not sure what she’s thanked him for but it feels like it’s the easiest thing to do at the moment. She's not used to showing gratitude and means it. Perhaps Azula should start getting used to it then.

Or maybe not. It depends on her mood.

\--

Her attire is long and loose, reaching to the ankles; embroidered in red and gold. Her lips are colored in red and her face is dabbed with soft powder. Courtesy of Li and Lo. 

Azula dismisses the guards following her and heads towards the garden alone. When she arrives there, she spots Mai and Ty Lee, sitting near the pond, exchanging stories. 

Zuko is not far away from the girls, giggling as he plays chase with Tom-Tom, playfully urging his newfound friend to catch him faster. Mai's younger brother is spurred by Zuko's support. 

When Tom-Tom finally catches him, Zuko squeaks and stumbles down to the soil beneath his feet. 

Her brother laughs and the sound is honey-sweet; a melody to her ears. The happiness that blooms in Azula's chest is immense and profound. 

It's good if Zuko can be happy like this forever. 

Ty Lee spots her first. The girl's eyes brighten and she quickly abandons her post, barreling towards Azula. She readies herself for the barrage of a happy squeal and a tight embrace. 

Behind her, Mai slowly trails close. 

"Azula!" Ty Lee skips and then she embraces her. Azula rolls her eyes fondly but she returns the hug regardless. 

"Ty Lee." Azula grins. "It's good to see you again. It's been a while."

Ty Lee exhales almost dramatically. "Yes! Oh, we have a lot of catching up to do-- and oh! Azula! Azula!" Ty Lee pulls a face and puts her hands on her hips 

"You could have told us you and little Zuzu were on the run from Ozai after you betrayed his pasty ass! Mai and I would have helped you!" she fusses.

Trust Ty Lee to be blunt about it. 

Behind them, Mai only nods, crossing her arms and looking absurdly jaded. "She's right. I'd have agreed to anything just to leave Omashu, even stabbing your father in the nose."

Azula can't help herself. She chuckles. 

Despite everything, she misses her friends. Not something she's going to admit to them. Ever.

Eventually, Zuko spots her. His eyes glow. No scar. No taut smile. 

"Zu'a!" he skips towards her and throws his whole body into her arms. Azula staggers from the bump. 

"Zu'a, Zu'a! The turtleducks got so big! One of them even got babies! Come on, lookit them! Look!" Zuko pulls her along with him towards the pond. Tom-Tom is instantly right beside him, just as eager. 

Azula groans but follows along. She hears Ty Lee laugh. Azula looks over her shoulder, bemused. "What?" 

"Nothing!" Ty Lee shakes her head.

It's Mai that answers her. "Well, look who's gotten soft." She grins. 

\--

Her coronation is in five more days. 

That night, Azula lets Zuko sleep in her room. She refuses to let her brother out of her sight for now. 

When Azula dreams, she sees her mother and she blinks at Azula before she smiles. Mother takes Azula's face in her hands and kisses her head. _'That's my girl,'_ mom whispers. 

Her voice is like a faded wisp and she sounds so proud of Azula. 

Azula wakes up with a small smile. Her arms protectively curl around her still-sleeping little brother. 

_I miss you, mom_

\--

A temporary armistice with Earth kingdom has been approved, which will be made official once Azula is a Fire Lord.

For now, it’s a show of their goodwill, as uncle likes to point it out (even though he's not here and is currently spending his time with Zuko).

Only a few essential people are attending the exchange. Some are merely there to find a way to get on her and uncle’s good graces. Some are snakes, lingering about, still loyal to Ozai. Azula will root them out and if she can’t earn their loyalty, she’ll dispatch them quickly. An early _spring-cleaning_ sounds good.

Uncle doesn’t need to know.

Azula can taste the lies and ploys in the air. The fabricated deception to make one appear a saint in her eyes. Truthfully, Azula misses this.

She hears a cough behind her. When she turns around, she’s presented with a young man, probably around her age.

He’s rather good looking and positively radiant with a proud smile on his round face. Azula wants to burn him to cinders.

“Evening, princess. I’m here with my father to witness the signed treaty—“

Ah. A son of some fool then.

“—and I must say, aside from your striking beauty, your achievements speak volumes of your crafts. I’ve always been eager to meet you.”

“Wonderful. That makes one of us.” Azula smiles sweetly. The young boy’s smile almost slips.

“Indeed. I, ah, you see, my father holds one of the important positions in your fath— in your cabinet and he often speaks highly of you.”

Azula can already tell where this is going.

“It’s of no surprise that you are to be the next Fire Lord.”

“I’d have been a Fire Lord anyway even if I hadn’t backstabbed my father. It’s a hereditary title, you see,” she puts ineloquently.

“I’m... sure. However, like all remarkable ladies out there, I have no doubt you need just as capable man at your side to govern with you.” _Or in your place_, he doesn’t say out loud.

“Capable man, you say?” Azula makes a point to look around her, exaggeratedly making a motion as if she's looking for someone before Azula turns back to him. Feigning sadness. 

“No suitable candidate here but I’ll make sure to inform you once I find such a man. Thank you.”

She leaves without another word.

Azula finds Ty Lee and Mai standing not far from Katara and Toph near the exit. Ty Lee seems to be cornering an annoyed Kyoshi warrior. The same Kyoshi warrior she’s seen hanging around Sokka.

And from the way Mai is staring at Katara and Toph, she doesn't doubt there's a story behind their somber discomfort. _Perhaps their path had crossed somewhere in the past?_

“Ladies,” Azula says.

“Azula! Tell Suki why I'd make a perfect Kyoshi warrior!”

“I told you—“

Mai cuts them both, glancing at Azula. “This is Suki. I’ve hired her and the rest of the Kyoshi warriors to keep Zuko safe when you're not at his side. At least until everything has settled down. For now, they are his bodyguards.”

Azula looks at the warrior in full green garb. She forms her hands into fists and bows slightly to Azula. She says not a word but her eyes are piercing. A trained killer trying to play nice.

This one is the type that won't break easily. 

“Thank you, Mai. But I'm not too eager to put Zuko's life in someone else's hands. Especially to a bunch of ragtag strangers.”

The Kyoshi girl’s eyes twitch at her statement. 

Mai ponders her words carefully. "You can't be with Zuko all the time to protect him."

"I trust Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi warriors," Katara assures. "We’ve fought by their side before. They're capable, Azula. Trust me."

“And Suki even saved me from drowning so that’s a plus,” Toph adds.

Azula exchanges a look with the waterbender. Katara seems to understand her position. It's possibly since she has a brother of her own. Or despite everything, Katara genuinely loves Zuko and can be just as protective of the child. 

Katara is not heedless when it comes to Zuko's safety.

Azula sighs and studies the Kyoshi warrior. Then she nods. "Keep my brother safe in my absence."

She nods. “I understand, princess. The rest of my girls are with him right now.”

“Azula, please tell Suki to let me join her group!”

Azula claps her hands once and ignores Ty Lee’s whining. “Ladies, it’s quite dull here and it smells like old men dying so why don’t we go to the salon together? My treat.”

“No!” Toph wails.

Katara’s eyes brighten. “Of course!”

“Oh. Spicy gossips. Together. Now,” Ty Lee chirps. She puts her arm around Azula’s shoulders and the other one around Katara’s, pushing them forward. Her previous predicament is forgotten.

“Let’s go, ladies!” Ty Lee announces loudly. Mai sighs but follows them regardless. The Kyoshi warrior - Suki - encircles her arm around Toph’s and drags the smaller girl with her. Toph bemoans pitifully.

Azula takes a deep breath and allows herself to enjoy the moment.

\--

Azula invites king Kuei to join her for brunch, seeing that he's one of her esteemed guests. He's going to be there for her coronation tomorrow. 

They drink the tea uncle has served in the palace private garden. When the Earth king speaks, his voice is small but undaunted. 

"It feels dishonorable to agree to such a thing but," the king breathes slowly, "You helped me once. Now, I'm returning the favor. I'll honor the end of my bargain."

"And I'll honor mine." Azula's eyes stay firmly on the man. "Fire Nation will share its technology with the Earth Kingdom and will provide necessary wares for a year should your kingdom face possible penury."

King Kuei clears his throat. "I… yes. Thank you. And if people ask, especially the Avatar; we'll… assure them Ozai is under our custody. Lifelong incarceration. No official visit from anyone."

"Very good."

Azula leans back into her chair, sipping her tea. She doesn't look at him.

The Earth Kingdom has Ozai.

(That's the official story anyway)

\--

The walls are bleak and cold. A distance away the shadows cast a dark figure, massive and ferocious as it lurks in the dark. Azula summons a ball of blue flame in her hand; the fire is bright enough it evaporates the shadows around her.

The steps take her lower and lower until Azula reaches a cellar. The coldness follows her even down here, far beneath the earth, and it seeps into her bones. 

A dozen guards are keeping watch and they bow low when Azula passes by them. She waves her hand and one of the guards quickly moves to unlock the metal door.

Azula enters the cell and the sound of loud bang echoes in the small, dirty chamber when the guard closes the door behind her. 

The man chained to the wall looks up and a sneer on his face is almost feral when he sees her. "Daughter."

Azula's smile is almost too saccharine. "_Father_, it warms my heart to see you again."

Ozai scoffs. He can barely move with both of his hands bolt to the concrete surface behind him. His legs are not touching the floor and the only cloth on him is the small tunic protecting his lower region. 

Azula basks herself in the tingling satisfaction of seeing the once-mighty Fire Lord is reduced to nothing but a beaten and humiliated creature. 

"Are you here to add more to my misery?" The man hisses. 

"Truly, father. Can't I come here simply because I'm concerned for you?" Azula takes a step forward. She studies his father's hands; broken and mutilated. It's impossible for him to firebend ever again. Azula has seen to it.

Or perhaps just to make sure, Azula can order her guards to cut off Ozai's hands. 

"Concerned?" Ozai questions sharply. "Azula, I raised you. I shaped you. I know you, daughter, and you're nothing like your mother. You're every little bit just like me. You're whether here to gloat or to deliver more pain. Now, which one is it?"

Azula huffs. "Why couldn't it be both?"

Ozai laughs, dark and bitter and proud. 

Azula studies him before she asks a question that’s been gnawing at her chest since she’s gotten home. “Where’s General Liu?”

Ozai’s lips split into a vicious grin. “If you must ask, then you’re not as smart as I presumed you to be, daughter. He deceived me and for that, he died in chains.”

What a waste. Azula has expected it and yet she still feels the smallest hint of regret.

It’s happened. It doesn’t matter anymore.

"The throne is mine now, father. Uncle has agreed to abdicate it to me. Fortunate for him. It means he won't be feeling the coldness of a blade against his throat when he sleeps."

"And what, daughter, will you do? Play nice? Make peace? Defile the pride of our Nation? You will gain nothing."

"Well. I already have what you've never had before, father. _Accomplishments_. So I'm sure I'm off to a good start." 

(And through the throne, through the power she will wield, Azula can protect Zuko better. She can create a world in which no one dares to hurt Zuko ever again)

Ozai snarls at her. But that's as far as he goes.

No one knows he is here, nailed to the wall. Inside the Fire Nation's territory, just below the prison tower. Where not a soul ever visits.

Just underneath everyone. 

Azula tilts her head.

"Don't you worry, father. I won't kill you." _Yet._ "I made a promise to the Avatar."

Ozai looks up at her once more. 

Azula spares no words as she walks towards the beaten man. She watches him and Azula feels those angry, amber eyes follow her every move; a prey waiting for the bite.

Her eyes instantly turn solemn. She douses the flame from her palm. The room grows darker. 

The previous blaze in her gaze is naught but a withering mist as she gently rests her hand on Ozai's cheek, caressing his dirty face and studying his features that she shares. 

"You'll live. This small cell will be your home for however long you live. When you shit, no one is going to clean you. When you hurt, I'll make sure someone keeps you just barely alive. When you're hungry, you can eat the food on the floor like a dog _after_ I cut off your hands and put a chain on you. Just. Around. Here." Azula moves her hands gently around Ozai's neck.

"You'll get to hear people revere me. Love me. Respect me. Worship me. You get to hear while I erase everything you've done. And many years from now, you'll get to hear as Zuko ascends to the throne. A man, worthy of the title of a Fire Lord, far better than I. Far _far_ better than you. You'll live to hear it all. And then, I'll let you die when there is no more skin on you to burn." 

Ozai opens his mouth to retaliate - only for Azula to slap her hand over his jaws, clamping his mouth shut.

Azula smiles sweetly him.

_"No one is coming for you. Ever."_

She cradles Ozai's face and the fire in her palms burst into a bright blue spark.

Ozai screams. 

No one stops her. 

_That's for Zuko._

\--

That evening, Azula finds her brother hopping on the bison's massive head. The creature lets out a deep guttural noise, huffs, and eats the hay and fruits the Avatar has prepared for it. The bison is inattentive of Zuko's presence. 

Perched near the bison's horn, the lemur watches Zuko closely, producing panicked noises every time Zuko is close to the edge.

Not far from the bison, a group of Kyoshi warriors giggles amongst themselves as they observe Zuko. Fondness bloom from their watchful eyes. 

It's an odd sight to see. 

"Hey, Azula!" 

Azula spots the source of the voice, surrounded by familiar faces. Aang is waving at her, gesturing for Azula to join him and the rest of his friends. 

Everyone is hiding under the shadow of the tree. The twigs and leaves provide them the tender canopy they seek from the ever-bright sun. 

Katara offers her a brief gentle glance before she returns her focus to tying Toph's messy hair. The earthbender is mumbling incoherently, hissing every time Katara pulls her hair, kicking at Aang's leg whenever the boy laughs at her discomfort. 

Sokka is unmindful of his surroundings. He's set his eyes on Suki, mesmerized and entranced like he's seen nothing more beautiful than the girl sitting next to him. 

There's an empty spot there, just in-between Aang and Katara, most likely reserved for Azula should she wish to join them. To do nothing. Let loose for once. Just for a moment. 

The world can wait.

Aang follows her gaze, watching what Azula is seeing. When he looks at her once more, his eyes are soothing as if he knows what she truly thinks. 

It's quite an enticing offer but Azula has far more important things to focus on. Or someone. 

She shakes her head and points her thumb to Zuko. 

Aang smiles and nods. Next time then because Azula doesn't doubt there will always be a next time with them. 

She shifts on her heels and walks towards her brother. 

"Zuko," Azula calls out, dismissing the Kyoshi warriors. 

Zuko stops and beams at her. "Zu'a!" the child hops from the bison's neck and to its back, almost tripping on the saddle. 

Azula moves quickly towards the big creature's side, standing close to it. When Zuko jumps down, Azula catches him with ease. Zuko snickers. "Again! Again!"

"No. Let's get you cleaned up. You stink."

"No, I'm not." Zuko pouts. "I smell like Appa!"

"Yes. That's why you stink."

The bison bellows at her, undoubtedly offended. Azula ignores it and takes her brother away.

Zuko twists in her arms. "No, put me down!"

Azula mischievously stares down at her brother. She steadies him with one arm, pressing her unoccupied hand to Zuko's ribs. With a bright glint in her eyes, Azula tickles the unsuspecting child. 

Zuko jolts in surprise before he giggles, unsuccessful at attempting to push Azula's hand away. Slowly, his giggle turns into a suppressed laughter.

"Zu'a, no! No!" Zuko laughs.

"What's that? Who said that?"

"Me! Me, Zuko!"

"What? Who?" Azula teases. 

"Me! Zu'a, it's me!" Zuko tries to squirm away from his sister's onslaught. His defiance forgotten, his joy is prominent in his eyes.

"Hmm, can't see anyone." Azula moves her fingers to tickle her brother’s neck.

"Azula!" Zuko giggles. Ticklish. 

Azula stops. She looks at her brother. Zuko snickers before he throws his small arms around Azula's neck, pressing his cheek to hers. She quickly grabs him and holds Zuko tightly. 

"Azula!" Zuko repeats. 

Azula's eyes soften. She kisses Zuko's cheek. 

Azula swears she will never choose the world over Zuko. 

"You finally said my full name, you brat."

"Azula!"

"Yes, I heard you, you little shit."

Zuko titters delightfully. "Azula!"

"Yes, Zuzu. I'm here. Always." _Until my life is extinguished._

\--

Azula is crowned with a five-prongs golden headpiece. 

When she stands, the people of Fire Nation revere her name and they call her Fire Lord Azula. 

Fire Lord Azula.

Fire Lord Azula.

_Fire Lord Azula._

She lifts her hand to silence her people. They obey. The stillness stretches on and on; eyes following her every movement as if Azula is the very deity that puts the sun in the sky.

The world starts anew.

\--

_Zuko is at the age of twenty-five when he becomes a Fire Lord. He wears his crown whilst he stands above the world. His people look up at him and he prays they see a ruler, growing and worthy of the title he's bestowed upon. _

_Zuko looks to his right side; where his sister is standing. _

_She feels him watching and turns to scowl at him. "Keep your eyes ahead, Zuzu. Agni, I'm getting old and I still have to tell you what to do."_

_Zuko laughs. "Thirty-six is still young, Zu'a."_

_She scrunches her nose at the nickname. "Quiet and look forward." _

_Zuko complies with a smile on his lips. _

_He speaks and addresses all the nations, his voice is firm. Gentle. Steely conviction. Just like how uncle and Aang have reminded him. Just like how Azula has taught him._

_Azula puts her hand on Zuko's shoulder and the world narrows a little bit. It becomes calmer. Safer._

_There are clouds in the summer sky looking down at them and when Zuko raises his hand to the sky, he feels the softness of today and the promise of tomorrow on the tip of his fingers. _

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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